The hallmarks of sexiness: confidence, sensuality, and vitality. The hallmarks of indie gamerness: intelligence, independence, and creativity. These are the qualities which the Sexiest Indie Gamer of All Time must possess, and these are the qualities which Max Geiger possesses.

The contest, of course, was based primarily around two sections: a set of photos and an essay. In both of these areas, Max was a stand-out. In his pictures, Max obviously took great care to present both his sexy and gamer sides, something he did with great aplomb. What you see is a man who, on one hand, obviously understands that he is a raw dynamo of unbridled sexuality, and, on the other hand, is an unabashed gamer who can crack open a game design book and make it look goooood. The pictorial is artfully composed and demonstrates Max's good taste and creative nature.

However, though a picture may be worth a thousand words, pictures alone weren't enough to win the coveted title of Sexiest Indie Gamer. Fortunately, Max's essay revealed him to be an intelligent and confident gamer that is in touch with the indie gaming scene and understands its ideals. When he bluntly states "I am the sexiest indie gamer" in his opening sentence, you believe it. From there on out, every one of his words reflects a knowledge and passion for gaming that it so honest and beautiful it would bring a tear to your eye if you weren't already so aroused. And his explanation of how playing doujin shooters relies on the same principles of love-making was simply... perfect.

The competition was fierce - all 12 of our Finalists were sexy indie gamers in their own right. In the end, however, Max is the complete package. He is The One. I'm honored to be able to declare him The Sexiest Indie Gamer of All Time!

Wear your title proudly!

How the Judges Decided

Each of the 10 judges (2 were removed from the judging pool for disorderly conduct) were asked to pick their top four Finalists and rank them. Each first place pick garnered 4 points for the contestant. A second place was worth 3 points, a third place was worth 2, and a fourth place was worth 1. The Finalist who had the most points at the end of the voting period would be declared the winner.

None of the judges had any prior knowledge of who the other judges voted for, including myself (I picked my four before I asked the other judges to submit their votes).

The Runners-Up

Every one of the Finalists was outstanding, in my opinion, and really stood out in one way or another. I know that sounds like the kind of stupid feel-good crap line that a counselor gives at the end of summer camp, but I really mean it. It was a tough competition, and although Max had the most points in the end, every single Finalists was voted on at least once by one of the judges for one place or another.

When I asked people for their picks, I also asked for a sentence or two about why they picked who they did. Here's a choice quote from the judges for each of the Finalists:

Tony: "This guy reminds me of an extra from 80's homosexual erotica movie Top Gun! and I rate Tony the Top Gun of sexy gamerness. I'd ride into his danger zone anytime (yeah - you know what I'm talking about) who wouldn't want to be Ice Man to his Maverick!"

Smeby: "He's an indie developer and has determination and personality. He's indie and proud of it. He's not afraid of being himself, and that's sexy and indie."

Angela: "An impressive list of indie game favorites and a riot grrl attitude make for an excellent candidate for the title of Sexiest Indie Gamer."

Chopper: "Although he's obviously an escaped mental patient, Chopper's got the attitude of a Viking and some very soft-looking nipples. Plus he has a 20-inch penis, which is pretty impressive."

Ilia: "This Russian soldier has marched his way into my dreams. Ilia loves indie games so much that he not only plays them, but also wishes to write a column about them.. and has made one! Perhaps more telling is that he has ten unfinished projects, which as we all know is the sign of a *true* indie game maker."

Afryl: "Not only is he a handsome bastard, he exudes confidence without cockiness, chose some good classic games for his favourites, and he claimed to be making a Greatest 8-Bit Mix CD. How can you say no to that?"

Edi B: "Good selection of favorite indie games and being a game maker is certainly a plus."

Sean: "Sean really convinced me was all about indie gaming, both playing AND creating, which is something you can talk about sure, but its often fairly easy to see through as the kind of boasting I usually hear pre-teens try to woo Derek with in the back room of Game Zone. Sean's the real deal when it comes to independence and staying committed to that ideal."

Brad: "Big dreamy eyes. If anyone can woo more people to the world of indie gaming, it's this guy."

R. Moola: "As far as I'm concerned, the 'R.' stands for 'Ravashing', and the 'MOOLA' stands for 'Manly, Overwhelmingly Oogle-worthy, Lovely, and Adorable.' This falls short of fully describing Riaz, though, so I suggest 'Knowledgable' of indie games be tagged onto the end, changing his name to R. Moolak."

Kelly: "She's a versatile girl. Manga kitty, working with code or ready for a night out, all in one. A touch of indie and geeky, a touch of coder an touch of sexy."

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