By: Derek Yu

On: November 20th, 2007


I’m a bit torn about Hasslevania, Del Duio’s Castlevania parody game. On the one hand, it’s a pretty sloppily-made platformer that suffers from bad controls, poor collision detection, and some really frustrating design decisions (e.g. not being able to heal at save points). It’s also a 140 meg download, 120 of those megs being cheesy voiceovers (I’m not kidding).

On the other hand, it’s pretty obvious that the creator had a lot of fun making the game, and it comes through when you’re playing. For all the flaws, the little touches he added do sparkle on this rough gem. And as dumb as the jokes are, I actually enjoy the sense of humor this game has. “Rovert Bellmunt” complaining to Dracula’s lawyer at the entrance to the castle? C’mon, that’s chuckle-worthy.

On the other other hand (yes, I have three hands (one of which is a penis)), I have the high jump boots but I’m totally stuck and why oh why does it cost 2 hearts just to do a high jump I can’t get past these spikes FUCK I have to wait another minute before the game over screen passes.

Screw this game.

(But thanks, Koholint!)

  • http://www.tscreative.net BMcC

    “Screw this game” is pretty high praise, coming from TIGSource. ;)

  • Zeno

    I can’t be the only one that was hoping for a Castlevania game involving Hasslehoff, right?

  • Koholint

    You’re very welcome.

  • http://www.tscreative.net BMcC

    Koholint… I may be tired, but is that a Zelda reference?

  • Karzon

    There need to be more -vania ish games, good bad or otherwise.

  • Koholint

    Yeah, it’s a Zelda reference. Good job catching that. I can count the others who recognized my name on one hand.

  • Koholint

    Also I don’t think this game is bad as much as it is frustrating. The visuals are great, but there are a few quirks that could have been worked out. Pretty good for a game that was created partly by the suggestions of GameFAQs forums members, though.

  • MattC

    >*I can’t be the only one that was hoping for a Castlevania game involving Hasslehoff, right?*

    I was so disappointed!

  • ssfsx17

    “Pretty good for a game that was created partly by the suggestions of GameFAQs forums members, though.”

    Finishing a game at all would be pretty good by those standards!

  • Derek

    Seriously, what do you do after you buy the high jump boots? There’s a chest blocked by a Del Duio statue that I can’t get past, and a high vertical passage in the bog that I can’t get up.


  • Koholint

    No idea, man. I finally got enough money for the high jump, died, and quit. I’ll try again tomorrow.

  • Nikica

    Finally out !!!

  • Mizumon

    … ;A;

    Just as I began coding a comedic parody for Castlevania, too, and –

    Someone does it and it looks fun to play. >w<

  • Del Duio

    Derek, please stick with it as you’re only about 5% in the game so far.

    There are 2 possible places to go after you get the high heels- Remember that save point that had the hint book that says “A DRAFT?!” Well, that’s not just for show baby!

    The other place is even less obvious (for now) but you’ll soon find it from the other way in. You might be surprised at how much of the game is left, but yeah you hit the first real snag that I expected most people would.

    I tried my best to make this game the best possible, as I said before it’s my first real platformer and first Metroidvaina game ever so hopefully people can win it soon!

  • Del Duio

    Oh, and I made high jumps cost hearts because I needed some skills to eat them up. Wait until you try the subdevil out, he eats hearts like crazy. The holy crap subweapon (projectile) also eats up hearts. Good luck!

  • konjak

    Probably should have decided to remove the heart counter before deciding to limit high jumps just because you wanted to use the counter.

    But that’s just me… :)

  • Patrick

    Its like Disaffected meets Symphony of the Night, its a game intended to be a middle finger right to your face.

  • Xander

    Wouldn’t be much of a hassle if it wasn’t..

  • http://www.g4g.it FireSword

    Where is the download?

  • http://www.g4g.it FireSword

    Never mind i found it.. it was in a tiny window… please delete both of my posts..

  • Smithy

    How strange.

    I was just about to start my own project like this.

    Good thing I came here today before I committed myself!

  • captain_duck

    Oh man, screw this. All the cutscenes and movies are awesome, but the grinding. Why in hell do you need to start of grinding to 400? I got to the bog (that secret passage was horribly placed to. Yeah there was a hint book there but you tend do forget hints like that after you have to GRIND MONEY FOR 10 MINUTES. Seriously i had 12 keys when i could finnaly buy the jump boots.

    Also, because of the massive heart drain, you constantly need hearts after you get the jump boots. And in the first area of the bog, you need to do a lot of jumps. And theres only 2 candles you can reach without jumping higher so you have to exit and re-enter the area the whole time which lags why the music changes.

    And how in hell are you supposed to get your health back when you’r low since saving doesn’t heal? Grind more money? To get a full lifebar you probably need 2 chickens which is an easy 1000 gold.

    So after missing another highjump in the bog i just quit the game. The idea is great but well, you’ve made it way to annoying to play.

    Anyway what this game needs IMHO:
    – High jump takes only 1 heart instead of 2
    – Saving also heals you
    – Candles or enemies drop some healing items (rarely)
    – Making the way to continue easier to spot after youve got the highjump boots.

    Anyway if you think i’m being a pansy then add then maybe add that as an easy mode or something. Hard games can be fun, but well having an easy mode for new players will make this game way less annoying.

  • moi

    Now I understand why the tiny hand

  • negative zero

    can’t someone make an alternate version to get rid of the large sound files and reduce the size of the game. 140megs?!? get outta here…

  • Del Duio

    Captain_Duck, you can’t be a big Dragon Quest fan if grinding for 10 minutes is too long for you. C’mon now, 10 minutes is nothing. My God the endgame of Hasslevania would kill you!

    There’s a few hidden $50 bags near the start that will help you buy the boots faster, but I’ve never really had much trouble getting the $400. I know I made the thing, but still.. Anyhow, Attack walls, hit your head on ceilings, try to walk through walls or jump into them. You’ll find loads of things if you try hard enough.

    The very first Castlevania didn’t heal you at every turn either. That’s one of the reasons why I chose to make healing only possible through eating food. There is a chicken and some grapes right near the start that you could save until you really need them. There’s even a book right there that says to “SAVE FOOD”. This is important since it can be scarce at times.

    Food that is in short supply makes for awesome treasure in this game too. Nobody is going to go out of their way to try and reach some far-off apple if food wasn’t as important as it is in Hasslevania IMO. And about the high jump / 2 skill heart thing: don’t worry the further you get in the game the less this becomes an issue. There are 17 heart maximizers in there, as well as hearts refillers.

    I’m glad you like the cutscenes at least!

    Negative Zero, I’ve had similar complaints about making a Hasslevania “lite”. Not only would it take a lot away from the game (IMO), there’s just so many voices in the game that changing them over would be a huge pain in the ass. If I ever do make a lite version, it’s not coming out until much, much later. I’ve already spent so much of my life making this game and I need a much-deserved rest for now. I do listen to what the people say though, so please don’t take my comments here negatively or personally.

  • captain_duck

    I’ve played ragnarok online. I have done enough grinding to last the rest of my life. Anyway, as you wish, its your game. I just think you’re cutting yourself off from a bigger audience by making the game so hardcore.

  • Del Duio

    It’s cool, I do appreciate your comments. I’m taking stock on a lot of suggestions in case there’s ever a sequel.

    Yeah, if you’ve played RO then I feel for you buddy that’s a killer at higher levels *shudder*

  • ass

    Okay, while the game is entertaining and funny it is too frustrating to be any fun..

    some screen change will cause you to fall, the dialog freeze you while the world still turns. ( getting killed by the bats when you first enter the castle )

  • Del Duio

    Yeah that was an oversight. I think that only happens if you are jumping when the castle’s alarm goes off and the text pop up occurs. If you walk instead of jump to the left in the darkness there should be no problems.

    It used to be that the statue would always hit Rovert on the head when he came inside the castle, isn’t that a fine hello and how do you do? Good thing I changed it!

  • grabladon

    OH MY GOSH! I love and hate this game! Yeah, I’ve had to grind a bit and repeat the same segment like… 15 times, but it’s fun! I feel kinda weird swinging a burning cross around, but it sure is strong. To the frustrated: keep coming back. Or… you could just quit. It IS just a game…

  • Del Duio


    You my friend are in for a treat, if you’ve found the Pyro Mace Iac (which it sounds like you have) then a ton of new areas are opened up for you. In brief:

    You can now burn thorny bushes. There’s a lot of them.

    You now have your first magic weapon. Phantom bats can now be killed. Hello Engineering!

    If you’re clever you now also have acess to the first of the codebooks. I wonder if Rovert’s chimney is just for show…? Keep your eyes peeled for bricks that don’t look quite right.

    Hell, until people get far I’ll have to give hints galore, but thanks for sticking it out grabladon!

  • krinkle

    This game is a 140MB waste of time.

    I can appreciate that Del Duio spent a lot of time making it. I realize that he put a lot of work into it. And I can respect the fact that he’s actually finished a game.

    But Jesus Christ… this game is not good. The controls are bad, the collisions are bad, the grinding (in a *platformer* no less – SOTN didn’t have this much grinding) is bad. The humor is lacking and the 120MB of voice content is really unnecessary.

    I mean, I can see adding a voice track for a really deep and polished game, but this is just 120 lbs of cake frosting slathered onto a tiny turd.

    I think you may have jumped the gun on naming this your Magnum Opus, Del Duio. You do have potential. Keep trying. You can only get better.

  • Beau

    I tend to agree. All the above fixes would be fair. Enemy drops would be a must, and also–I am trying really hard to beat it to be fair, but if people think grinding sucks now, wait until they need about 5500 gold to have any chance in the later parts of the game. But in the future, I wouldn’t make a pretty essential weapon to success (the sword named after you) so hidden. Half the items require it to reach them. I also really would discourage putting hidden hole bricks right after the hardest part of the game and rubbing in that the player didn’t know it was there with a ‘LOL!’ sign. I can assure you…I was not LOLing. Outside of that, I’d look into some better testers in the future. Ones willing to break your heart when it comes to fundamental gameplay. It just sucks because I really want to like the game, I had been waiting for it longer than most, and the realization that every bat that hits me is going to cost me 10 minutes in grinding is frustrating.

  • Del Duio

    I mean, I can see adding a voice track for a really deep and polished game, but this is just 120 lbs of cake frosting slathered onto a tiny turd.

    You may not believe this, but this might be the most awesome thing I’ve ever read, seriously! I am somehow not offended at all and understand what you mean totally. It really is my first game I’ve ever made that’s anything like this as I’m used to making RPGs and non-action games firstly.

    Beau, please let me comment on what you said because there’s a lot I can tackle here. There are numerous ways of getting some items to complete the game. You found the BODD (oh and grats on that by the way!) but if players never found it they could still win the game if they found the armor instead, or even maybe the bubble device to skip the Crystal Dungeon’s hall of spikes. Finding that sword is not necessary but yeah it’s pretty cool to move around at a fast clip IMO.

    The grinding: There are many different varieties of money bag and diamonds to help you get the items you’ll need. I think some people might get the wrong idea that it’s all $25 from candles and nothing else. Some items for purchase are entirely optional too. The weapon book is optional. The axe is even optional provided you have found the Holy Crap subweapon and have enough skill hearts to use them against Black n’ Dookie or even Zerkers.

    That hidden hole. That is 100% Metroid’s fault. I remember playing the NES Metroid and somewhere in Ridley’s lair there was this room with an energy tank right there. I went to get it and fell into a giant invisible hole in the ground and had to go all the way around again to try and get it. I figured what would make this game more old school than to have a similar pit right after Drac’s Lair? (Which you are correct, the hardest area of the game by far). At least in my game there’s a hint book that has some foreshadowing of this event “PIT @ BANNER” unlike the no hints whatsoever in Metroid. And I put that banner in there so the pit would be easy to avoid the second time around. Sorry it made you made, but I hope you understand why I had to put one (or two) in there.

    On the bright side, holy shit are you close to winning the game buddy!! I congratulate you for making it as far as you have, that couldn’t have been very easy at all. And once you get past that pit you’ll see something that actually HELPS you in the form of a shortcut to a save point before tackling Dracula himself. If you got the devil and at least 85% of the treasures you’re also going to see one hell of an ending lol.

  • grabladon

    so… holy crap made my little brother (and me) laugh when i got it. i have yet to attack the poop beast again. don’t give me a hint, cause i really wanna see if i can tackle him. also looking forward to finding out what that fireplace that i lit does…

  • Del Duio

    You mean the one with TWO chairs near it?

    Sorry I couldn’t help myself :)

  • captain_duck

    On the note of the file size, i dont see why people are getting upset about that, its still only 120mb, and your hosts are fast so it only took me like 5 minutes. These days everyone has broadband, its no big problem anymore.

    So del duio, you have any plans yet for making an easy version or whatever? You have the mod system in place with challenges anyway.

  • Ted

    Back in the day Project X was released, everyone complained that it was too easy so Team 17 went and released Project X 99.

    Just release an easier version or update it.
    I don’t mind it the way it is but I really think you should listen to folk here :)

  • Noyb

    I would be very interested in seeing Guert grind this game. There’s a lot of potential, but a lot of crazy design decisions that seem to make the game more of a hassle than necessary. I found the skelevator and the casino, but haven’t gotten any important items since the high heels nor do I have any idea how to progress in the bog. The economy seems very unbalanced, btw. I really want to be able to sell my useless, surplus keys.

  • Del Duio

    Noyb there’s the key machine in the game to deal with your useless keys for just that. I had to make it after a design correction for the doors (they used to re-lock themselves whenever you exited and re-entered the room). Well, I made the key drop rate from candles like 20% or so early on. After I figured out that relocking doors sucks I made it so that it remembered their open or closed status- the problem was I didn’t want to go back and change a million events to make all the candle drop percentages different afterwards.

    The solution: The key machine! Not terribly impossible to find, you can flip the lever at the top of it to either 10 or 40 keys. Then stand underneath it and it will suck the keys right from Rovert in a glass tube. After some calculations it’ll spit out some money bags out the ass-end of it.

    Captain_Duck, the way the mod system is set up, for the most part it’s just subtracting things- Taking away the sub devil, taking away the iron armor, taking away the heart maximizers.. Really the only mode that gives you anything nice to start is the one only available after winning the game, and that’s mostly stuff to help you explore better to get the 100% collection percentage (or close to it).

    Noyb, it sounds to me like you’ve found the harder of the two ways to go after getting the high heel boots from Oldie. Head over to the 1st save room and high jump where the hint book used to be that said “A DRAFT!?”. From there you’ll see where you need to go, and the item you’ll quickly get afterwards will really help you with the skelevator areas. I mean techincally you CAN go your way, but really only Shipping & Receiving can be explored since there’s a lot of water towards the bottom of the Crystal Dungeon and a lot of weapon-proof phantom bats in Engineering. But you’ll get to see the drum solo!

    Thanks Ted, don’t worry like I said before I have some pretty huge plans for a sequel already that I think people will really like. I just hope they can win this one to see the set up for the next one, as it’s sort of important what happens.

  • grabladon

    so what the heck did you mean… 2 chairs? i tried hitting them with everything, and wearing armor and holding my shield doesn’t do anything. i think you’re trying to confuse me.

  • Del Duio

    All I’ll say is that the subdevil plays an important part for a lot of things in the game. And 1 Rovert + 1 Subdevil = 2 people / beings!

    If you can’t find him yet there’s a hint book that gives a great clue to how, but it’s kind of hard to get to. If you’ve ever played Simon’s Quest I got the idea on how to access these secrets from that game.

  • grabladon

    yeah, still haven’t found the subdevil
    buuut, i did kill all 4 boss guys, i think (twins, deaf, poopie, saladman)… i’m gonna poke around a little more

  • grabladon

    and that underwater snake dude. yeah, i’m stuck. ugh. i’ve only found the axe, flaming cross, and crap. i want the duio sword!

  • Del Duio

    It took me a minute to figure out what you meant by saladman lol. Thorny Bastard now I see. You should have killed 5 bosses because you forgot the Gala Moth. The Moat Monster is a lot easier with a shield if you have one. Just hang back to the left side of the screen and deflect his bubble streams. When there’s a break in the action, toss 1 or 2 holy craps at him and repeat the process. Just make sure to raise your shield after you lob the holy crap before the bubbles come again. If you don’t have the shield just rush him with the axe and pummel him to a pulp. You’ll be glad you did because good stuff lies beyond his watery ass!

    You say you haven’t found the devil yet, but have you seen him? Remember there are places you can go now that you have the Iron Armor. Remember those 2 rows of spikes in the Crystal Dungeon? Well now you can walk in between them and not take damage. You should go that way if you haven’t already. There two ways you could go but that’s the easiest one.

    Also, have you found any of the codebooks yet? There are 3 that are very important to winning the game. Each one has a randomly generated digit from 1 to 9 that’s put in place whenever you start a new game. When you get a codebook it’ll tell you the digit’s number on the pop up window. If you forget it later you can always view your currently known code digits on the bottom right hand corner of Rovert’s treasury screen from the continue menu.

    Let me know if you have any more questions, and thanks for sticking it out and trying to win it!

  • grabladon

    yeah, actually, i’ve done all that already… my problem is now figuring out how the heck to get to the code room. i’m trying everything i can think of.

  • Del Duio

    There’s two ways, but with what you have now there’s only one way you can go.

    Step 1: Remember the room with the Shit Tanks? There’s a hole that opens up in the ceiling once you defeat Black n’ Dookie. Activating the computer will make 2 laser bricks appear that you can use to jump on up there. If you go to the left from the hall of statues you’ll need to burn the giant candle to clear the path to that teleport orb down below.

    Step 2: Okay now it’s possible you missed this earlier but you need to take the secret shortcut to the Underground area outside of the castle under Rovert’s house and head left. You’ll go past the giant spiders and into a small room with some bats and a Zerker. If you take that teleport orb it connects with the one up in the Offensive Altar and that’s the long way to get to the LCD Tower’s code room.

  • Del Duio

    I just realized that you might not know where the secret passage to the underground actually is yet. Just like in Zelda 2: AoL, hop up on top of Rovert’s roof and pop down the chimney.

    Did you find the Moo Tomb yet?

  • grabladon

    no on the moo, and i only know the last 2 digits of the code. i tried putting the numbers i knew in and guessing the third, but i have no idea how it works… i think i’m gonna put this game down for tonight… i’ve been playing it like, since wednesday… and that’s unhealthy.

    i can’t believe i missed the zelda style trick. i loved that part!

  • negative zero

    no problem. it’d be great if there was a lite version available, though. might download the game a bit later.