Harpooned: 2009 Update

By: Brandon McCartin (BMcC)

On: February 1st, 2009


Conor O’Kane has released an update to Harpooned, a satirical “Japanese Cetacean Research Simulator” that’s apparently already been all over the place, even though (I’m embarrassed to say) I’ve just now heard of it for the first time.

It’s pretty clever and well put together. I’d give it 3.5 cosmetic products out of 4.
You can download the 2009 update of Harpooned here.

  • Jotaf

    Disgusting. But that’s the kind of shit proponents of this practice deserve. Maybe it will raise some awareness.

  • Cranky

    So is this game against whaling or against hypocrisy? Probably both, but I kinda feel bad for thinking that trailer was hilarious


  • http://www.tscreative.net BMcC

    No need to feel bad — the trailer *is* hilarious!

  • Johannes G.

    This is hilarious, even if we Icelanders do hunt whales for a “scientific” purpose and i am not against whale hunting.

  • flim

    The Japanese have always practised whale hunting for food, traditionally, and then would be ‘activists’ and do gooders come along and say ‘Hah, you can’t kill those whales! But we’ll kill animals and eat them! Ha ha ha!! HAha! HAHAHHA!’

  • Phasma Felis

    flim: You may have noticed that cows are not endangered.

    Anyway, most of the really serious protesters are vegatarian/vegan. I’m not, but I have to respect the dedication.

  • Aptennap

    Wow! Whale hunting looks awesome and very scientific, I need to try it some time!

  • rz.

    flim shut the fuck up whales are beautiful

  • king


  • YMM

    film: Obviously the whales are endangered and shouldn’t be exploited like that. We need to kill something to survive but why should it be one of the things we’re running out of? I’d like my kids and grandkids to be able to see a live whale.

    As for saying they should be allowed to do it because it’s a tradition… that’s retarded. There’s plenty of traditions that are outmoded and useless (or harmful) now that were used in the past simply because we didn’t know any better. Should cannibal tribes be allowed to eat each other because it’s “tradition”? Should we drill holes in peoples’ heads to release the evil spirits when mental illness is diagnosed? That’s a tradition too.

  • Cobalt

    “The whales seem to be afraid of our ships. We must kill more whales to discover why they fear us.”

  • PoV

    Hahaha! Scientific!

  • zero time


  • anti flim

    vai apanhar no rabo

  • MikeK

    Crazy to see people Wailing over the game. Whatever floats your boat. I don’t want to sound like a Blubbering idiot, but i’m just glad to see somebody Spear Heading games with so much Porpoise.

  • Flamebait

    flim, most animals killed for food are dumb as hell (there are exceptions). To me it seems perverse to use the animals most similar to us as food.

    And cultural relativism is absolute bullshit. Morality is objective and no society ought to get away with violating it because of its culture; if this weren’t the case, the behavior of the Nazis (etc.) must be viewed as acceptable.

  • Cobalt

    I just don’t want them to go extinct. I recently learned that there was a 7 ft. penguin, but… well, they don’t exist anymore and that totally sucks.

  • Chris

    I think this is too “angry” to raise the awareness of the most important group–Japanese consumers/voters. I doubt very many people will pass this on to their Japanese friends. I think it would actually be more effective if it were toned down a bit.

    I suppose it could increase pressure on Japan from other countries, though.

  • AmnEn

    Yay, Godwin’s Law.
    Didn’t take long for someone to bring up a Nazi argument.

  • http://shinji16.110mb.com Shinji16


    Surprised you don’t remember it…

  • http://www.tscreative.net BMcC

    I linked to that _in my post_, Shinji.

    Bonus points to MikeK for excellent pun-usage. (Despite not spelling it “Whaling.”)

    The game succeeds enough to get (you) people debating, so I’d say that’s pretty good.

  • Potatoes

    This is great!
    Brings awareness to this touche subject.

    Evoking emotional appeal from a gamer. When playing this for the first time, it made me feel sick. But the game play made me want to get a high score.

    Keep up the good work!

  • Flamebait

    AmnEn, that’s the first I’ve heard of Goldwin’s Law but apparently it goes like this: “As a Usenet discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches one.”. Replace the first part with “As the length of an ethical debate increases,” and it still holds true.

    I’d agree that the Nazis are brought up too much, but they’re convenient in being an almost entirely evil culture. If I had said “the behavior of the classical Greek civilization must be viewed as acceptable” my argument would’ve been much less clear, despite the importance of (e.g.) slaveholding in that culture.

  • Guy

    Why not ban the sales of whale meat?
    If the japanese want to fund the scientific whaling, they are not allowed to do so by selling what they are researching.
    That would definitly cast a shadow on the research’s integrity.

    Imagine that medical researches would sell parts of their subject human bodies they research, to fund their research.

  • Movius

    Theres no need to convince the Japanese public. They vote with their wallets. Whaling is not profitable without massive government subsidies.

    In this way it is much like sugar farming in Australia, automobile manufacturing in the USA or videogame development in Canada. The whaling industry would not exist without government bailing out failed companies.

  • Mischief Maker

    @film: Even if you don’t give a whoop about the whales, the weasly approach of the japanese whaling industry is pretty outrageous. International treaties prohibit whaling for profit, but left in language that whaling could be done for “scientific” purposes -presumably studying things like a disease spreading through the population or the like. So the japanese whaling industry seizes on that “scientific” language and uses it as a loophole to keep at business as usual just by calling it “scientific.”

    Hell, the part of the video where they’re holding up the signs has to outrage law-abiding people no matter your political slant. It’s like a film of an open-air drug market where the dealers are holding up signs saying, “It’s just oregano and powdered sugar,” and “legitimate condiment market” and “cooking is an important skill for children to learn.”

  • PHeMoX

    “I’m a pro-whaler … I whale whale!! Arrhh!”

    Okey, maybe not, but those eco-terrorists are stupid hypocrites 1st class. I totally agree with making fun of those goons. Greenpeace and co. should take a good look at their own ships, buildings, tactics and so on.

  • http://del_duio.sitesled.com Del_Duio

    Crazy to see people Wailing over the game. Whatever floats your boat. I don’t want to sound like a Blubbering idiot, but i’m just glad to see somebody Spear Heading games with so much Porpoise

    Ahahahaha! You sir, win post of the day!

  • Mischief Maker


    You know, I think there’s a _slight_ difference between positioning yourself between an explosive harpoon and an endangered animal, and planting a car bomb on a busy street. You might be overreacting a liiiiittle bit.

    It’s weird how it’s never enough for environmental activists to simply work for change on an issue of great importance to them. They have to be pure living saints. Someone snaps a photo of an environmental activist having a cigarette? OHMIGOD! WHAT A HYPOCRITE! HE’S POLLUTING THE AIR! OBVIOUSLY GLOBAL WARMING DOESN’T REQUIRE ANY SORT OF RESPONSE WHEN ITS DANGERS ARE ESPOUSED BY PEOPLE LIKE THIS!

  • http://www.the2bears.com the2bears

    I just converted my car to run on Whale oil. As bio-diesel fuels go it’s rich in many nutrients my car needs.


  • http://elvisbrevi.blogspot.com/ Elvis Brevi

    ke violento, supongo que es para crear conciencia.

  • Hypersapien

    If you ‘win’ the game, can you no longer find any whales in the ocean any more, anywhere?

  • http://www.illogctree.com eddie

    the video is pure genius.

  • PHeMoX


    You know, I think there’s a slight difference between positioning yourself between an explosive harpoon and an endangered animal, and planting a car bomb on a busy street. You might be overreacting a liiiiittle bit.*

    I’m not overreacting. I think you may have overlooked the exact wording I used. ;) I said eco-terrorists… as in ‘activists that go way too far’ in a very hypocritical way.

    Of course the whole whaling thing is hypocritical. Japanese vessels claim they’re whaling for scientific purposes, which they are obviously not, but those activists aren’t any better.

    Want different examples? Torching of factories that processes European mink for their skin; oil in leather and so on. Those animals all obviously died a horrible death.

    In certain cases they set the animals free, but they all died just the same. Overrun by cars, eaten by predators, not being able to survive in nature, you name it.

    Another example is Greenpeace purposefully damaging a tanker vessel, that as a result starts leaking oil. How’s that helping nature?

    And I’m not even exaggerating here.