Posts with ‘EleFun’ Tag

The Last of the Unicorns, the First of the Children

By: Derek Yu

On: October 26th, 2007

<3 Unicorns <3

I have contention with today’s Game Giveaway of the Day, which is described as follows:

Puzzle Mania: Chronicles of Unicorn is a unique game combining new but recognizable gameplay and perfect plot which will take you through all the game levels to the aim of your journey!

This part is mostly okay. The game is indeed unique, and the gameplay is certainly new and recognizable. Unique and new in the sense that I have never played a game where you solve jigsaw puzzles in order to find a unicorn. Recognizable in the sense that I have seen a jigsaw puzzle before. Just once, when I went on a trip and stayed in a cabin which smelled like wood.

I have a problem with the word “perfect,” though, because even though the plot is indeed amazing and incredible (because it involves finding a unicorn), is it perfect? That’s a bit of a stretch, for any game. I think it also places undue pressure on our children to try and attain a level of superiority that is reserved for unicorns.

Thankfully, the plot does take you through all the game levels. Thank Jesus!

Each stage is unique and does not repeat throughout the game, as well as the form of puzzles for each level. Mini-games which are an integral part of the Puzzle Mania world are prepared for you between the game stages.

Mmm, yes, the stages do not repeat. That is good. That always pissed me off how in Donkey Kong, after you beat stage four you’d have to go back to stage one. That was just some bullshit. I shot someone with a handgun the first time I found that out.

Mini-games are good, too. The way potato chips are good in between breakfast and lunch. Just give me some micro-games in between the mini-games, and I’ll be fit to be tied.

But your main aim is to rescue the last survived unicorn!

This is the part I have a contention with, because the “screenshot” clearly shows that the unicorn is right there, on the title screen! That was easy. But then when I load up the game itself, the unicorn is gone.

They photoshopped the damn unicorn. They tricked me.

So don’t be fooled, my friends – Puzzle Mania: Chronicles of the Unicorn contains very little actual unicorn.

(Also, you can totally see his dick up there.)