Van Damnation

By: Derek Yu

On: August 26th, 2007

In issue #192 of Electronic Gaming Monthly, web funnyman Seanbaby penned a feature titled “”http://www.1up.com/do/feature?cId=3141721">The Worst T.V. Games of All Time." In the intro to this feature, he made this statement:

I rated the 10 worst ones of all time. Each game got an Accuracy rating. This score is out of 10; a score of 1 would be the equivalent of a game about Frasier that isn’t about making out with your own brother, and a score of 10 would be for a game based on Jean-Claude Van Damme which uses only two buttonsâ€”one to do the splits and another to punch someone in the dong.

I’m here to tell you, in the spirit of The B-game Competition, that the Van Damme game WAS MADE, and it is called Van Damnation. It was put out two years ago as a limited release, but, with Oddbob’s help, it is now being made available to the public once again. Rocky, the creator of the game, is also the mastermind behind another classic B-game – Pillar Killer.

(Now if only someone would make a game based off of either 1. Bloodsport, 2. Hard Target, or 3. both.)

ProTip: Read the readme or you will not get anywhere in this difficult game of timing and dong punches!

Download here (from Oddbob) or here (from me). The game is 2 megabytes large.

Posted in Action, Fighters, Freeware, Unique / Bizarre, Windows

Hooker with a penis

Damnit! If there’s something involving “Van Dam” – I’M THERE!
Hooker with a penis

Ok, there. Done!
But I have some critisism, due the lack of Van Dam’s trademark maneuver (even more so than the “nut-puch”): THE JUMPING SPLIT-KICK a.ka: ‘the ballet-kick’. I demand compensation!
Paulie Mindless

Holy pieces of cow, it is really one of the worst games I have ever played. And I loved it! Sound effects are amazing. Yep. Van damn me.
http://josephkingworks.blogspot.com Joseph

WTF that little piece of shit boss at the end of lvl 2 is HARD RRRRR! And the soundbites are hilarious and I really like the lvl intro music and punching people in the nads is hilarious :)
Paulie Mindless

The boss is actually a really easy one, you just need to jump or split, so he is in far ahead of you and keep the distance till the finish line =]
Kenzya

Or you just keep doing the splits until you reach the finish line. It worked for me.

One weird bug though.. After I passed the finish line that boss did damage to me so I was at 0 health for the rest of the game.
Paulie Mindless

Wow< this game is really complicated, it even has some bugs.
contra

But theres already a game based on Bloodsport! It’s called “Mortal Kombat” ;)
http://josephkingworks.blogspot.com Joseph

for reals
Eudaimon

It crashes for me after the third level. Otherwise, amusing.
Noyb

Crashed for me after the third level as well on Vista. Surprisingly fun.
Blueberry_pie

Crashed here too, but I doubt that was unintentional. Games made with MMF really only crash when the developer fucks up big time, but I don’t think that’s the case with a simple – yet damn awesome – game like this. MMF actually easily allows you to end your game with a crash dialog.
r0cko

I’m famous at last :]

Thanks guys, lol

I got more games and shit on my GGE profile:

http://www.greatgamesexperiment.com/user/r0cko
t1gerdog

I made this. HA! I forgot about it