Over the last couple of weeks I’ve been uploading Trilby rank videos of each of the Heists from Yahtzee’s new game. I just Trilby ranked the last stage today, so I thought it would be nice to put them all together along with the introductory texts to each level, as a full Trilby Rank playthrough.
Not shown are the bonus heist (which is basically just a rerun of all the game’s levels), or the awesome minigame you get for completing the bonus heist with the cream suit (which I don’t want to spoil for you).
Chapow City, 1991.
They call it the city of stolen dreams. It’s the city that your parents warned you about. It’s the city where money is the only thing that matters, where the rich live high above the streets and the poor pick through their trash.
In England, I was strictly small time, picking rusty locks in ancient manor houses. It wasn’t enough for me. So I came here, to America, with only one idea on my mind: to become the greatest thief in the world. To seek other people’s fortunes.
I have been mentored by some of the best criminal minds of their time. I have honed my skills to their absolute peak. In the homeland of the idle rich I will show them just how powerless they are. Because no lock, no bar, no guard, can stop me from going where I want to go.
My name is Trilby.
Be warned, everything after the jump is a spoiler!
Heist 1: Protocorp Secure Records Facility
Objective: Raid the safe, and steal $200 in blackmail material
Par Time: 2:00
Total Loot: $635
It’s an idiom very close to my heart that pride comes before a fall.
Dominic Perota, the wealthy young CEO of the fantastically amoral Protocorp, is a very proud man, long overdue for his plummet. So much so I’ve decided to engineer it.
Perota keeps a secure records facility on the outskirts of the business district, and rumour has it he keeps something very interesting in the safe there. I won’t know how interesting until I steal it, but the safe will suffice for a main objective.
Whatever it contains, there should be plenty of other interesting secrets and tidbits around to make this worthwhile.
Heist 2: Chapow City Art Gallery
Objective: Steal $400 worth of art
Par Time: 1:30
Total Loot: $900
Perota is one of those people who really makes this job a pleasure. Turns out he’s fastidious enough to account for all his income, even the less than legal bits.
He’s been skimming off profit he has no claim to for years and laundering it by buying fine art. I could use some conversation pieces to brighten up the workshop.
His collection is currently being displayed at Chapow City Art Gallery. It’s a fairly old, small building but there was recently a cash injection from the council and some new security measures were installed, which should make things more interesting.
I’m not after any pieces in particular, but I should keep in mind that the best bits will be the hardest to get hold of.
Heist 3: Golden Waters Health Resort
Objective: Find Dominic Perota and steal $500 in loot
Par Time: 3:00
Total Loot: $1005
Someone was actually able to get the drop on me. I must remember to send them a letter of congratulations once I steal back that camera. They’re clearly resourceful so I think I’m looking at a conspiracy here. And since the sting was carried out on Perota’s dime, he’s undoubtedly in on it. Right now, that’s my only lead.
Perota is currently holidaying at the unfortunately named Golden Waters Health Resort, by the coast. I don’t like personal encounters, but this is the only way I can think of to shake him down for information. I’m by nature a rather intimidating person to encounter at the dead of night and I’m hoping this will be enough.
Meanwhile I have a reputation to think of, and there should be plenty of rich holidaymakers with unguarded luggage. Perhaps they’d like one of my calling cards as a souvenir.
Heist 4: Unknown Building
Objective: Meet with your blackmailer, then exit the building
Par Time: 3:00
Total Loot: $845
Perota having unobligingly died, my options are drying up with alarming rapidity. All I can think of to do now is meet with my antagonist.
The address they gave me is a tall and ominous-looking building in the city centre which all public records seem to indicate has been abandoned for decades. I’ll just go inside, let them say their piece, and figure it out from there. Maybe I can think of a way to wrestle the photos from them on the fly.
Right now I can’t even speculate as to who exactly I’m up against. I don’t like to plan too much when I know so little: if you expect everything you can’t be surprised.
Heist 5: Kroner Avenue
Objective: Steal $600 in loot
Par Time: 5:00
Total Loot: $1165
The so-called Company are extremely powerful, completely amoral, and very very angry. This does not make for a tenable state of affairs, and one of the best qualities of a master thief is knowing when to make a run for it. I think a year in Rio would be nice, or possibly Alaska.
But there’s no reason to rush off in a panic. It could be days before the Company strike. So to pay for my holiday I’m devoting tonight to a little fundraising spree in one of my favourite wealthy neighbourhoods. I’ll stay above street level and cherry pick loot from whatever open windows I can find.
I really don’t like doing this sort of thing because it’s so… impersonal, but it’s a good way for fast cash and needs must as the devil drives.
Heist 6: Davenport Farmstead
Objective: Steal the XJ unit and $700 in technology
Par Time: 4:20
Total Loot: $1365
The widow Perota has given me a much-needed injection of faith and a lead on a new trump card. Now all I have to do is steal it.
The address is what seems to be an abandoned farmhouse in the middle of nowhere, but the Company have quietly stepped on any attempt to redevelop the area, so it must be important to them. If the XJ unit is there, then there must be other technology lying around that could fetch a high price on an open market, and I would say these Company jerks owe me.
I’m going into this job knowing absolutely nothing about what to expect. Of course, I work best under pressure.
Heist 7: The Company Headquarters
Objective: Steal the Trilby file
Par Time: 5:40
Total Loot: $970
The Company have sent me a note requesting a par-lay at their headquarters, ostensibly to exchange the photos of me for the XJ unit. Sadly, I stopped being a sucker when I outgrew my first dummy.
I’ll go to the Company headquarters but I have no intention of doing so openly, like last time. I’ll infiltrate silently and steal every trace of information they have on me. I don’t know where they keep their records so I’ll have to find out once I get there.
They’re no fools and they’re probably expecting me to pull something like this, so they won’t make it easy. Funnily enough, though, the more I think about the risks, the more I want to do this job.