GINORMO SWORD

By: Derek Yu

On: May 27th, 2008

Or: “A man and his phallic symbol embark on a fantasy adventure.”

GINORMO SWORD (full title: “Long and Thick My Ginormo”) is a new Flash game from Barbarageo, creators of the fairly mediocre but similarly awesome-sounding UCHUFORCE 2 (Gesundheit!). It’s a simple hack n’ slash fantasy game – your character follows the mouse cursor and you can attack by clicking the left mouse button. The aim of each area is to uncover the various hidden battle zones, defeat the monsters within, and eventually defeat the boss of the area, allowing you to move on.

Along the way you’ll encounter helpful townspeople and mages who will let you upgrade your sword and learn magicks. One such character is the blacksmith, who, along with leveling your weapon, will let you increase the “length” and “thickness” of your sword. As far as I can tell, these size increases are mostly cosmetic, but then again, isn’t just having a longer and thicker “sword” enough?

It’s actually a pretty entertaining game, though. Fun graphics, too. Just be prepared to slam your left-mouse button a few thousand times to get through.

(Source: Jean Snow, via Game|Life)

Posted in Action, Browser Games, Doujin, Highly Recommended | Tags: Babarageo

Nizzate

The first boss takes forever to kill is there a way to kill him faster?
popopopop

Did you buy your red katana for 250 gold? You have to explore all around the map for stuff.

This game is really above average for a guy who just wants to hack-and-slash and gain abilities.
http://www.djshardhouse.com Starshot

Excellent! I was just looking for a good, new game to play tonight. Very fun stuff.
http://www.geocities.com/simple_gartne realtime

my computer can’t read the text.
it all ????? and ????
http://www.geocities.com/simple_gartne realtime

cannot kill the bos
http://www.djshardhouse.com Starshot

Got to the 5th boss, but I’m slightly stuck now.
idiotmeat

needs more UCHU
Rich

WOW i was fighting a boss for like 20 minutes and then i accidentally left the area WTF can’t even begin to describe the frustration…
http://www.g4g.it FireSword

GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENOOOORRMMMOOOOOOOOUH…….
Dusty Spur

Man, as many issues as I have with this game, it is crazy fun.

Good stuff.
Pfizer

The performance enhancement upgrades aren’t just for looks. A longer piece of equipment makes it much easier to pierce some enemies without getting hurt. The benefits of thickness aren’t as clear. It does give you a bit more vertical range so you can go under some attacks but still get your own blows in.

I’m currently stuck on the fire daemon (7th boss? Not sure.)

I concur with Dusty Spur. This game is ugly and buggy, but strangely addictive.
MisterX

The addictiveness of this game can only be a proof for the simple-mindedness of us all, really.

Well, got to the friggin’ witch boss (level 8) so far. There’s no way I’ll be able to beat her! It appears as though I’m lost without some proper armour and I’m definitely not going to grind for money so I can afford that.
Anyway, quite astonishing how little a game needs to offer in order to be fun. Not that I’d want more games to be like this, god no!
Quetz

As a hint for the witch boss MisterX, she seems to cycle through each of her three spells before casting any one of them again. If you’re having trouble with the lightning like I was, she’ll use it after using her other two spells, so you can be ready for it.
MisterX

That sounds like a plan, thanks!

But really, it feels quite brain-mashing to play this game for a long time. I don’t know if I want to pick it up again.
Sadly though, I know I will *sigh*
John

She doesn’t cycle through them all. The witch is a bitch.

Anyone know what all the people dancing int he room or the hut on the previous screen are for/
Pfizer

My way of dealing with witch-lightning: I kept her at a distance (not practical if you aren’t properly endowed) and stayed below her so my sword just clipped her feet. I sometimes got hit by it, but most of the time it missed me.

I did farm the cyclops for a while before I was able to beat her, though. He’s not too bad once you get a few vitality upgrades and he gives 20-30k per kill.

I’m not sure what level strength/vitality I had, but I had the item that increases attack length, the circler spell, a buckler and a level 20-30 sword.

Currently stuck on the boss after the witch. Have a level 40 sword with +6 water, 8 vit/str and scale mail and I still either die or accidentally leave the battle while dodging.
Poop

If you keep entering the same areas rare enemies will show up. These guys will take forever to kill but will give you tons of cash. I kept doing it in the 6th area at the “dry lake” place. Golden Pharaohs will show up and drop about 150-300K. They take forever to kill but worth it.
Poop

Oh and it may be coincidence or something, but it seems the more money i have on me, the more money i get from these pharaohs.
Adam Atomic

2 much clickan
popopopop

“Pfizer said about 4 hours later:

The performance enhancement upgrades arenâ€™t just for looks. A longer piece of equipment makes it much easier to pierce some enemies without getting hurt. The benefits of thickness arenâ€™t as clear. It does give you a bit more vertical range so you can go under some attacks but still get your own blows in.”

From what I’ve seen, it makes you attack faster. Since you can reset your bonus points with no penalty, give it a try. This is useful for bosses that you can get up close to, but not bosses like the witch which is giving everyone trouble.
Pyabo

Ow. My click finger hurts.
ssfsx17

I’d rather have arrow keys for movement and Z for attacking. I cleared stage 4, but I decided not to make my fingers and wrists any more screwed up than they already are.
John

Figured out the trick to eefreet, go kill poisidon (he’s a boss at 7) and he drops saphires. Use 10 or so on a weapon and you’ve got yourself an eefreet killer.

Now the next guys are a total bitch.
Cube

Anyone know what these gems are for? I have an onix, emerald, and a diamond.
Cube

Nevermind, figured it out :D
Zaratus

Ugh, at the lizard assassin. Wish there was an easy way to tell what bosses are weak against, than having to build up different swords and see which one hurts more.

And damn, armor is expensive. Again, knowing what something was weak against though, would probably also let you know how to buff your armor up to make it stronger against it, so you don’t die in one hit.
Zaratus

Wow, I beat the lizard guy.

I stuck to the left side of the screen, got my weapon long and a little wide, and just dodged up and down and let him come to me mostly. Barely beat him, but I did it! =D
Jeff Lindsay

Anybody else think of Time Bandits from that screenshot? “Return the map!”
Poop

I made it to the final boss… i dont think i wanna even try to level up to beat him. my weapon doesnt even scratch him. Fighting death was pain enough already.
Zaratus

Yikes.

Made it past the necromancer (pretty easy if you bring decent magic, the guy from the desert, upgrade your Int a bit, and make sure you bring the Coin wtih you, as he uses ‘fear’ magic on you.) He doesn’t really have any damaging attacks. Summons minions (some are weapon-immune, hence the beefing up of the int) and trys to fear you to make you run away.

The tree boss was rough… Yay for random attack patterns that can be completely unfair at times. I had it blast me with three lighting bolts, spit lightning at me, and drop exploding apples on me all at once. And the new ‘pet’ on that screen’s healing powers are quite useful there. It’s quite a long fight. I’m assuming it is weak against ‘Wind’ as that’s the opposite color of the yellow lightning, but I can’t say for sure, and I don’t know how to best get green crystals. But, it was a LONG fight, and relied on the ‘pet’ healing you and not killing itself by insisting on walking IN the tree.

Now I’m at the Ice Queen boss, after barely beating the regular monsters in the next area. Yikes. Just Yikes. Looks like it’s time to beef up on fire gems and water resistance. And I’m done for the night, I already stayed up way too late playing around with this game.
Rolf

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v482/ghorath/Phallicobjectsonscreenarelargerthan.jpg
Joola

Big Pixels FTW!
Pfizer

popopop: I tried max width with my 280 level sword, didn’t notice any change in attack speed (it’s pretty much instant either way for me). I use the longer attack duration item so it’s not that big of an issue any way.

It was kind of neat having a vertical sword. I could hit things a quarter of a screen above or below me. My normal config has it just longer than the screen and a bit thicker than the main character.

Made it to the boss in the top left. Final I assume. My wrist is barely holding up to the strain, though.

I commented that the game was ugly before, but I have to admit he made some great pixel dragons. I think it’s mainly the player character I don’t like.
MisterX

I’ve only beaten the sorceress now, but I had the same idea when seeing those wyverns: They were the first characters which actually looked good :D

I also got to admit without shame, that I cheated! It just occured to me how much more comfortable it is to use one my keyboard’s macro keys for the mouseclicking. I just press the key once and it goes on clicking as fast as possible until I stop it, yay!
But after all the pitiful cyclops-grinding that was necessary so I could finally beat the sorceress, I guess I really got enough. Phew.

This really got to be the worst most addictive game I know :)
Jäd

D:< This is just simple button mashing - just like Noitu Love 2! D:<
raelz

why doesnt it work for me :< when I click on "click to start" it redirects me on the main page of the site :(
Ichi

Doesn’t work for me either. did you guys break it with all the clicking?
Ichi

I spoke too soon.
It doesn’t work in Firefox, but it works fine in explorer.
raelz

Yeah, found that too :D I am at the sand worm now, I don’t get it, with the most expensive spell available I would have to smash him for like 10 minutes.. wtf? :D
Ichi

Yeah.. the game is surprisingly fun, but having to slowly chip away enemy health for minutes at a time worn me down really fast.
Zaratus

raelz: Your magic is weak until you upgrade your intelligence. Whack it with your weapons.
http://www.casualexplosion.com Uesugi

Ha ha, just started playing. Love the nude harpies. Stupid goblin shamans…

And those neko slimes look more like pigs than cats.
raelz

I am lost again.. at the fire golem or whatever it is, I am sure it has somethning to do with enchantments but I’ve been unable to kill him with water and then again with fire.. so I got no clue :(
.

Beating the temple of the moon gets you the final sword, it’s a squiggly line that starts off pretty large. Unless you can figure out a way to beat it without getting carpel tunnel don’t bother.

Any clues on how to back up a save for such a time intensive flash game?
raelz

Ok, it’s water, at least +1 :)
Gurrah

Please, oh PLEASE add a mute button, whoever you are. Why can’t Macromedia/Adobe add a mute option to the Flash plugin menu?!
blackrabbit

Any recommendations for which blade to use, claymore, scimitar, or Wieberschnitzel (can’t remember actual name, that’s what I’m wielding now), before I spend the dough and start upgrading like mad? I take it that it’s length, side-to-side, and width, respectively.
Krux

the game doesn’t work, i only see “click to play” and after i clicked, i am on the main page of this japanese guy, i can’t read anything there.
raelz

Krux – set the page in english in the top right corner and then find the game on the page and you can play it. It works only under ie though, maybe some other versions (tried opera and ff 3 rc1, didn’t work there)
Nillo

The game worked perfectly for me and I’m using Firefox 2.0.0.14.

Also, this is epic stuff. I’m at the penultimate screen of the map and fighting some invisibles to gain gold. It’s really grindy, but at the same time strangely addictive. It took me half of today to get to where I am now, and I think I’ll need a lot more gold to defeat the remaining bosses.