Last of the Patriots

By: Derek Yu

On: December 5th, 2007

This is an odd one.

I was checking my spam folder for a verification e-mail and found an e-mail from a Paul Davis instead, linking me to his new indie game. Somehow, that feels like a fitting beginning to my strange journey into Last of the Patriots.

From the screen, you may think that the game is a shoot ’em up, as I did. However, the focus is really on dialogue and story-advancement. The few combat sequences are short, and require very little skill. In fact, the website explains this:

For all intents and purposes, this is a B-Game, and I shan’t list all the areas in which it’s broken. I will say that there is one point where you’re supposed to run away from a legion of hitmen, but because of the non-existent AI and poor collision detection, the hitmen immediately get stuck on one another, effectively waiting in line for you to punch them to death with a beer bottle. The game is also extremely short (being the first episode of what can only be an epic space saga) and can be beaten in less than an hour. Enough said. It’s amusing for what it is and it reminds me of Dink Smallwood for some reason.

But this is one of those times where I am fascinated not so much with the game itself, but with the developer, and I’ll tell you why:

1. Paul is credited as a level designer for both Grand Theft Auto 3 and 4, as well as Manhunt 1 and 2.

2. Paul has (from his Mobygames profile) a “unique personality, and is an ‘outgoing’ character. Carrying with him a virtual army of buzz words and jive talk he is a renowned bachelor, and uses his weapons to systematically insult, then get the number of, every girl he meets. This self proclaimed ‘crazy motherf$$ker’ lives in a hotel in Leith Links, Edinburgh.”

3. Though the game itself is, well… fairly subpar, with no small amounts of clichéd story points and dialogue, it’s endlessly amusing to read quotes like this on the website:

This is one of those times where I can’t at all tell how serious the developer is about it all, but I have to commend him for being a crazy motherf$$ker making indie games. Serious MDickie moment here.