Dildo Tank

By: Guest Reviewer

On: December 21st, 2009


[This is a guest review and interview by Fuzz.]

How does one begin to describe Dildo Tank? Is it a porn game? Is it a brilliant re-invisioning of the side-scrolling shooter? Is it a meditation on the eternal differences between man and woman? A philosophical treatise on stupidity versus wrong-headedness?

Dildo Tank is all of these things and more. The latest collaboration of Jazzuo and Amon26, it opens with an awe-inspiring duet between the two artists, culminating in the final, repeated lyric, “you are weak in the knees”. Here the option is presented to play the game in either normal or censored mode. If you click on censored, the vaginas will be blurred out, as part of an attempt by Jazzuo to make all his games family friendly, regardless of subject matter (see Boobza Sports for US Kids). Proceeding to the first story screen, we learn that a man named Joon has need of our pilot skills in order to help destroy the women with no heads, who are trying to destroy mankind. From here on, the goal is simple: shoot your nude adversaries with poison dildos in order for their vaginas to absorb the harmful chemicals contained within these phallic objects. The implementation, however, is rather difficult, as you will be forced to confront all manner of giant naked women, including ones with spiked boots, laser shooting vaginas, and drills for feet.

Jazzuo’s work may be crude, but it shows a keen eye for design. The stages are carefully constructed to gradually acclimate the player to greater and greater amounts of spikes and enemies. Technique is taught through accidental experience; every player is sure to notice soon enough that the feet of the women should be ridden upon in order to more easily target them and avoid the spikes. One section in particular forces the player to ride a horde of women across a field of lethal spikes, while still attempting to shoot them. The choice has to be made: should I kill the women right away, or allow them to carry me across this spike field? Each new type of enemy is first introduced as a boss, with more health than they would normally have. The whole experience feels as though it was intended to be exactly as it is.

The graphics, while sub-par, are charming, and it is obvious that a fair amount of work went into them. The music perfectly suits the atmosphere of the game and again showcases Amon26’s stellar compositional skills. Jazzuo’s sound effects, entirely composed of his own grunts and squeals, are exceptional. The story is revealed in small portions through intermission text, as the main character’s instant messenger communications with his friends or enemies. I was not able to learn of the conclusions made by the game, as I was incapacitated by a large woman with a metal thong covering her genitals, but what I did see impressed me, as it explored much more than would be expected for a game with such a premise.

The game is available for download here, while the trailer can be viewed here.

Hit the jump for an interview with Jazzuo:

Interview with Jazzuo

TIGSource: Are your games intended to shock or provoke, or are they just created based on the topics that you find interesting?

Jazzuo: Some games are meant to shock and provoke some are not. I sometime make provocative games to let people know i am here and to get some feedback. Some times i make erotic games for same purpose. But i never forget to use some interesting and unique gameplay concept. I also believe that i do provoke by implementing new ideas. Especially those hardworking guys with not much ideas dislike me. Sometimes i just make something that interest me, but provocative stuff and erotics stuff are often what interests me.

TIGS: While your games may appear crude on first glance, there is usually a lot of depth to the inner workings of the game. How do you generally go out about designing any particular section of a game?

Jazzuo: Well they are crude. Since I start with gameplay. I first program the gameplay I have in my mind. And when I do that I make all the graphics and sound just so that I can publicize my game. In early years of Gamemaker community I could get some attention with this approach. I try to do little more with presentation now. Since there are so many freeware games now, totally crude games will not even get a single download. And my old games also have small hidden messages since at that time I believed I am a genius that will be discovered. The reward in sexy hiking is great example. I challenge you to play my old games and look for strange connection between games and hidden messages.

rape


TIGS: Some of your creations, such as Rape and Dildo Tank, seem to exhibit a great deal of misogyny; do you consider men to be on a higher plane than women in regards to intelligence and overall worth?

Jazzuo: Rape is very strange game. I made this when i was in art school my first years and wanted to prove game is an art. So i made something with contemporary art feeling. Make game that is fun in gameplay but makes you uneasy, something like Edmund. Its not about personal opinion. Now dildo tank is a different story. It is extremely exaggerated but there are my opinions on girls and boys coexistence. Most people see more criticism on women but I think it is fifty fifty. The difference is women are depict more to stupid and men more to wrong. And that is also my big question to the world. Why it is more offensive to show someone as stupid then as wrong.

TIGS: You seem to place a lot of emphasis on innovation in gameplay concepts. How important do you consider this to be for the overall enjoyment of a game?

Jazzuo: I am not sure how important it is for enjoyment of playing a game. Most people don’t play my games because they don’t want to learn new gameplays. But it is essential for enjoyment of programming a game. It is the reason for me to make a game. I have an idea and programing is experiment if I can program it and if the concept works. Often I change it and let it evolve during the programing. I learn a lot and have fun doing it.

TIGS: How was it collaborating with Amon26 on Dildo Tank? Did your collaboration positively affect the outcome of the final product?

Jazzuo: Well I did collaborate with Amon26 on Yellow ninja’s extreme zero as well. And it was great. I always didn’t want to do collaboration, because it was about waiting for someone to do his part of work. That is also a reason why my games are all about programmers art. But Amon was very fast and made his job in time so I could do my work in my own pace. And the music is really nice. I think the games came out very nicely. I especially like the vagina he drew me for dildo tank. I made them really ugly.

yellowninja

TIGS: The Yellow Ninja seems to pop up quite often in your advertisements and he is the main character in Yellow Ninja: Extreme Zero. To what extent is he based on yourself?

Jazzuo: Boobza girl, John Packadge, Gunboy, John Asscratch, Yellow ninja, Blue muscle they are all representation of part of what I am or I want to be. And I am to keep identity of Yellow ninja to my self, so I cannot answer. Well ninja wears cape for a reason.

TIGS: Your characters and gameplay concepts are often quite unique. Do you tend to spend a while thinking about what you would like in your game, or do you simply add content as the ideas come to you?

Jazzuo: Mostly it is fast process. And I like to participate in various competition because the tasks always give me new ideas. Otherwise I tend to get my ideas based on real life situations.

TIGS: Several of your games can be considered erotic or pornographic. Should pornography be considered a valid art form when done in an interesting way?

Jazzuo: I am not sure. It is entertainment. It could be art but it is not my case. What I want to achieve with these game is to make game that are not only visually erotic but the gameplay it self has something unique that only sexy theme can offer. I cannot say I hate the conventional erotic games because I do like visual porn, but I am still sad there isn’t much creativity in this field. I hope more creative people will start making porn games like me.

TIGS: You’ve made several Star Wars games; are you a great fan of George Lucas’s work, or is it simply a world that you enjoy creating games for?

Jazzuo: Well Star Wars has such memorable action moments, speed bike in woods, sword fight training with eyes covered. Star wars VII and Star wars VII dark side of story was my dream come true. They are games I wanted to play and I made them by my self. There are no other games that can give you the feeling of sword figh with covered eyes or extremely speedy fighting in woods. I started making them partially because Star Wars games get more attention then others but it is mainly about the love.

star wars episode vii

TIGS: Your games are often extremely difficult. Do you value challenge as an important aspect of the replay-ability of a game?

Jazzuo: This is actually little bit of mistake. I program the games my self. And unfortunately none of my real life friends are much of computer game players. So I do all testings my self. And I get always so good at my games that I just make the games hard. Difficulty progression is something I am really bad at and I know it. And when I try to make easy levels I feel like it is an insult how stupid it is and make maximally one such level.

MASOCHIST MEETS THE SADIST

TIGS: The website for your Kamila games states that they were inspired by conversations that you had with your girlfriend. How much has she influenced the majority of your games?

Jazzuo: Basicly kamilka my life love, with whom I am not anymore did influence many games. She appears in many other games like, sadist meets pacifist or wild girls. And actually dildo tank is a little bit inspired by the relationship experience and frustrations.

TIGS: Do you consider your games to have progressed greatly in quality since you first began releasing them to the public?

Jazzuo: Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. This is difficult. They did change a lot. But I think all game depict well my state of mind of given time. I think my games now go more to the playability. But old game have its beauty and magic.

TIGS: How much time do you generally spend on making games in the average week?

Jazzuo: Well it depends. I in fact program my games very fast. Gamemaker is my kind of a program. I finish the basics mostly in 2, 3 days. Then I have to force my self for weeks to finish the game. But basicly I have 1 or 2 days a week for programing. I work, I make music, I do design, and think about big things and come up with incredible thoughts.

TIGS: The art style in your work is immediately identifiable from the strange mix of 2D and 3D aspects as well as photography. Do you put a great deal of effort into developing a unique art style, or is it simply programmer’s art?

Jazzuo: Lately I try a little more. But basically the mixture of 2d and 3d comes from the fact that backgrounds and tiles are easier to draw and animations are easier to make in 3d on anim8or. Yes it is programmers art.

TIGS: How long do you think it will take for the mainstream to accept the concept that video games can, in fact, be art?

Jazzuo: I think lot of people do understand that. And I feel no problem in this. What I want to see is more open mind of players. Most players are willing to learn gameplay of mainstream commercial games. Even though they are so many weapons and items and what ever. I would like people to take little more time with free games, take them little more seriously and be willing to learn new gameplay, accept its style and so on. Otherwise I am not fan of pure art games. I believe game should be a game and I look always for some uniqueness in gameplay. For example rape is my kind of artgame but it has interesting well done catching a girl gameplay to it. But there are exception as cactus whose art talent is so huge, I don’t mind even if its just a plain shooter. I just wish there would be less wonnabies of the cactus and meshoft.

Sexy Hiking

TIGS: Sexy Hiking made you somewhat famous within the independent games community; how do you feel about its success? Do you think it is a good representation of your work?

Jazzuo: It actually is the best. Take something simple and unexpected and make a crazy game. Make sure concept is unique and original, programing works and each level is unique. And also there is my rough art I was so much in love at that time. With this game I gave absolutely no shit for others, it was my pride. I did it as I felt. And i think it actually says on my web-site I am proud of this game of them all. And the reward is just crazy. I am amazed even now how early in age I fell in love with my self.

TIGS: You’ve become known as the father of the B Game. Are you proud of this achievement, and the way in which you inspired the competition of the same name on the Tigsource forums?

Jazzuo: I am extremely. I used to write by my self that I am a king of GM minigames. Now I have a title that was given to me. And there is no GM in it. It is a world wide respected title. I am really glad to people that rediscovered sexy hiking and everything. And although I am a controversial trouble maker I would like to end the interview with this big thanks.

Jazzuo
  • falsion

    jazzuo is a genius. he makes b-games with deep gameplay. something that normally would be an oxymoron. needless to say, I don’t his games would be the same without the crude graphics

  • falsion

    oh and this interview was hilarious btw 5/5

  • Annihilator

    dildo tanks, naked ladies, and laser shooting vaginas?! BRILLIANT!

  • Conor

    Whenever I play a jazzuo game I always picture him talking like a character in cactus’ Mondo series.

    It’s so awesome that I was right.

  • Foppy

    A very nice interview.

  • Sadist

    Hello. I am a sadist.

  • O_o

    Yeah, there’s already been a “shoot the vagina with a phallus-shaped object” game. While the level design and art was different, the message -I- get is still the same – misogyny. Can’t say I want to play games by a misogynist. Sorry. If the tables were turned and the “hero” was a vagina shooting lasers at male genitalia, I’d still not like it because then it’d just be sexism all over again. I see nothing erotic about this kind of game :(

  • O_o

    Ah, to add to my original comment – can’t say I’d ever want to play a game called Rape either. The very concept of trying to make Rape into an “art game” is just sick.

  • madrain

    Misogyny. Yep.

    I’m older than 14. Think I’ll pass.

  • Norgonq

    You might be reading into it too much. It’s still a very fun game.

  • Pyabo

    At some point, you have to wonder where the funny stops and the idiocy begins. :|

  • http://blog.jwmusic.org Josh Whelchel

    I’m gonna go ahead and agree with those recent points. I was under the impression that TIGS was more of a class act but this sort of thing draws me away.

    (not gonna lie though, I’ll be back! ;D)

  • Neko_Baron

    I managed to break the game on the 2nd level >_>, interesting game mechanics.

  • rumrusher

    wait even the review even states it giant headless women your fighting.
    some how the creator the scaling of the women are normal human size and your piloting a toy tank. which brings up the question how can normal size no headed naked women going to destroy mankind with female babies with no heads?
    why do I have to take them down with the master blaster tank.

  • GoSign

    So, hey, how ’bout those independent games? Game creation unrestrained by major-label concerns, budgetary, marketing and censorship. Finding out the places games can go without limits.

    Is this the most notable thing we have to offer today?

  • rumrusher

    o_O edmund already beat this game in the adult compo and it was pretty much (even if the creator said it wasn’t and it isn’t) a rape game. that due to most players shock that it’s been done and either gave up or never played the game(youtube video shown the first rape scene). yet the game with it’s script being mod friendly (boot up notepad and write your own story) and the challenging section in nam with the landmines really makes this game a indie version of Sin city.

  • beer

    this game is stupid and offensive

  • Heriberto Valle

    Wow. I really never expected people to call trash sophisticated. Dildo tank is it? I would expect that sort of thing to come from a prepubescent loudmouth. I’m afraid I can’t consider myself a fan of this.

  • meh

    i’m surprised stuff like this is getting reviewed on here when there’s far better indie games worth the spotlight that TIG Source hasn’t touched.

  • Derek

    Dear “meh”: at least put in the extra effort to point out which games you’re talking about, for chrissakes.

    But yeah, no, Jazzuo’s games are a lot of fun. Exploitation b-games at their best, in my opinion. The gaming counterpart to low-budget exploitation cinema, which, whether you like it or not, has a place here.

  • http://blog.jwmusic.org Josh

    I agree that it does in fact have a place here, I think my main quirk is the explicit post title that isn’t particular safe for work. On the other hand, I’m not sure what else you could title this post. You have hit a rock and a hard place, and in hindsight, I’m glad you stuck with following your ideals than worrying about seemingly-conservative-types such as myself.

    And now that I’ve called myself conservative in any mannerism I must go wash out my mouth and rethink my entire life. (:

  • Amon26

    I propose we make an equestrian game with subtle parallels to Moby Dick. Perhaps a tea-drinking mini-game that rewards the player with bravado depending on the eloquence of his quips. The horse’s name shall be Reginald and have his own monologues in which we delve into his unfulfilled childhood, cared after by an unloving mother. The protagonist shall be made of text-physics and his tale shall be so inspiring that all foolish gameplay mechanics of old will no longer be necessary. forsooth! this rafscalian knows not his place among the turnips and only I can turn the tides.

  • http://indogreenteak.com alvin

    At some point, you have to wonder where the funny stops and the idiocy begins

  • http://indogreenteak.com alvin

    Well, I kinda like the idea. Not so much for myself, although I do love Roguelikes

  • Thomas

    I agree with Derek, exploitation b-games are a part of the medium and therefore should be covered. You can self-censor if you want.

  • GoSign

    This isn’t an issue of censorship. Freedom from censorship is a lot of what makes indie games, and the internet in general, great. But while Jazzuo has every right to his worldview, I don’t think we should be promoting and sharing it.

    The lack of constraints that indie developers have, allow games to turn into a medium for communication. This game definitely communicates something. I’m disappointed that TIGsource thinks that this message is one we should hear.

  • denver the last

    This is sexist and outrageous. I object to the reduction of the male as an entity that exists only to serve the degradation of the female. Because you can’t ever include nudity without it being interpreted as some fucking ridiculous commentary on gender roles.

    A cigar is never a cigar, but always a stupid psychosexual metaphor that works as an international secret agent for the artist’s inherent hatred for women.

    I expect to see naught but impenetrable art games and pretension upon The Source, TIG. This article has simply toppled my crumpets. tuppence and humbug!

  • Norgonq

    So, why are ‘murder simulators’ ok again?

  • GoSign

    denver the last,

    props for the A+ sarcasm, but if this isn’t representative of the author’s attitude (I don’t to meaningless fun, and am totally with you on the excess of vague pretension in indie games), then it’s a childish attempt at shock value. Granted, in the latter case it’s harmless, but it’s still not an example of something interesting or noteworthy in indie games.

    But yeah, “a cigar is never a cigar”? This is a game about rampaging women without heads being placated by having poison dildos shot into them. We’re really working far too hard to read misogyny into this one, aren’t we?

  • Derek

    The author reflects upon his own attitude in the interview. “Now dildo tank is a different story. It is extremely exaggerated but there are my opinions on girls and boys coexistence. Most people see more criticism on women but I think it is fifty fifty.”

    Personally, I love lowbrow and satirical works. Sometimes it’s not obvious what the author intends, and that’s when things can get really interesting. I realize some of our readers think anything lowbrow gets filed away as “trash” and has no redeeming value, but I think that’s wasteful.

    Anyway, I wouldn’t post anything on TIGSource that I thought was genuinely hateful or hardcore pornographic.

  • Derek

    By the way, GoSign, I really appreciate you expressing your distaste in a polite manner. :)

  • FartyButt

    Glad to see everyone is a big baby.

    This is the best thing to have been posted on TIG Source this year.

  • denver the last

    > This is a game about rampaging women without heads being placated by having poison dildos shot into them

    yes it is quite ridiculous isn’t it.

  • anothergol

    “The graphics, while sub-par, are charming, and it is obvious that a fair amount of work went into them”

    mmh, then you must have attached the wrong youtube vid, because it’s showing a very ugly game that looks like drawn in MS Paint.

  • soundofsatellites

    @amon26: I would totally play that. “text-physics” should be the new gaming trend. All hail the maturity age in games.

    I agree that jazzuo’s b-games are kinda of equivalent with the explotation movies which are still today dismissed as trashy (even thou’ they are a cornerstone of pop culture). What I can’t get my head around is how come a “childish” game, so un-PC it turns out to be absurd (and tons of fun) is more offensive than some of the more stablished representations of gender in the PC, mainstream culture; which is nothing short of being a jelous keeper of the status quo.

    I mean: people of the internets, stop being offended (which of course, you can) by anything and have fun! I’m sure I will, playing with my completly legal, un-pirated copy of Dildo Tankâ„¢

  • FartyButt

    where’s the painted backdrops and deep story??? vaginas? i do not understand…

  • strong

    when would you ever consider a game called dildo tank to be an art game. the storyline of the game isn’t to be taken seriously at all, and reading too far into it isn’t what you should do. jazzuo games were never about their content, but rather about their mechanics- their games control and “feel” different from anything else anyone is doing. dildo tank is no exception to that, and it deserves to be mentioned based on that alone.

    not every game tries to be taken seriously- there are some out there that just want to give a fun experience, and those should be appreciated just the same. dildo tank really could be about anything- it could be a game about trying to give poisoned pastries to a rampaging giant and the overall game would be basically the same. what does it matter that it happens to be about dildos?

  • rz.

    Quit being babies. Unless I’m totally daft, this whole article is facetious. Misogynistic? Certainly not. Jejune? Definitely. Amusing? FUCKYEAH.
    Calm down, Jazzuo doesn’t think he’s really an artist, it’s all for shits and giggles–as it should be.

  • jazzuo

    heeeeeeeeey thanks for the posts everyone. I just wish more people would play the game, but i guess that too much to ask. And peoples read the interview it will make you less confused.

  • rumrusher

    im still confused how can normal size women take over the world!?
    and why do we need a small toy tank to take them down.
    murdering helpless defenseless females with radioactive vibrators is so confusing and off par that it makes the game funny.

  • jazzuo

    the story reveals it self through the text messaging vetween the levels. It is all explained there.

  • falsion

    wow, people act like they’ve never seen a b-game before. what are you expecting, braid?

  • falsion

    the whole point of b-games is to make something completely random and ridiculous.

    i remember back in the klik and play days (when Total Klik was still around) there was nothing but b-games. i remember seeing a game uploaded to TDC once called “super hitler fun” (but horribly misspelled) and did I get offended? No. I laughed my ass off, because it was so stupid.

    Though the difference with Jazzuo’s games is that he goes the extra mile with gameplay, and does some unique things with it. But even despite that, they are b-games. And trying to seriously analyze them is stupid.

    Stop overanalyzing and learn how to laugh at things. You are putting more thought into it than it actually took to make the damn game. For fucks sake, it’s a game where you shoot dildos into vaginas. HOW CAN YOU TAKE THAT SERIOUSLY?

  • MasterShake

    What a bunch of babies. Get over yourselves, srsly.

  • Adam

    Something can be a joke and still be stupid, offensive, and childish. The game is misogynistic and whether it’s serious or not does absolutely nothing to change that. A misgynistic joke is still misogyny.

  • Adam

    Spelling mistake in that last post noted.

  • judgespear

    That’s because it’s *supposed* to be stupid, offensive, and childish. It’s a B-Game. That’s like being offended by the fact that grass is green. Get a grip!

  • judgespear

    Being offended by this is like being offended at Cho Aniki for portraying negative gay stereotypes. You’re thinking too hard and not realizing that not that much thought is supposed to go into this and the idea is supposed to be completely stupid and off the wall, that’s what makes B-Games what they are.

    If you don’t like it, then go play Braid or something. Leave the kusoge/B-Games to those who can actually laugh at crude humor.

  • politicallycorrectsource

    people overanalyzing shit that doesn’t require that much thought ITT

  • Gaz

    You can’t help but shout “Get in!” during this game. I like the way he recorded his own “input groans” rather than just rip them off some porn video

  • lp

    aaaw so much hate on the christmas?

  • Quanrian

    I would normally say a game like this is a shallow, vapid experience, but this one actually has one redeeming quality, the design. The storyline from beginning to end is not going to shine any insight onto the relations between women and men as it really is pure satire. I did mention the gameplay, and yes the gameplay is actually quite good, and less crude games could learn a thing or two in design from D Tank. In other words, if you get past the content matter, which most adults should be aquainted with by now, then the game is actually a good challenge from beginning to end.

    So, while I am somewhat embarassed I downloaded, and furthermore beat the game, I do appreciate that Derek is not afraid to post games like this. Thanks Derek for being so brave, and I will just impatiently wait for Spelunky to come out on XBLA. Happy Holidays for the rest of you, and if nothing else, this game would make a good gag gift.

  • jazzuo

    heeeeeeeeeey another one finished the game!! dapdap (with queen music in background)

    and i cogratualte fuzz to make great choice to put game with interview together. It really does fill the gaps. I didnt even imagine people would see it as so offensive… i guess you people dont watch porn at all.

    Heppy hollydays!!!!

  • Joseph

    If you could help…
    Would you help?
    And if you do help…
    Would you be helpful?

    LOLOLOL

  • mostlytigerproof

    Someone get this to Fumito Ueda. This is Shadow of the Colossus done correctly.

  • afewmonthslater

    Breaking news. Fumito Ueda announces B-Game project. Shadow of the Colossdicks to be fourth ICO game.

  • apl

    jazzuo haters vacate, for dildo tank is a masterpiece in all ways.

  • [email protected]

    Wow I cant believe how many people here are reacting like babies. The art is good, the game works, its clearly planned out and executed. What the fuck have you guys made before?

    People like Adam and GoSign, need a DSD shoved up their asses.

    DSD = Double sided Dildo

  • undertech

    This game is going to be such a fantastic training tool for something

  • gpsychosis

    It’s a true mark of creativity when artists like Jazzuo, Cactus, and Messhof consistently explore different gameplay, aesthetic, and narrative concepts.

    I can safely say Amon26 has similar creative authority after playing both Au Sable and Dildo Tank. I’m thankful for his (her?) earlier comment regarding pretentious game subject matter.

  • mosh

    I personally loved this game. Some people take shit way too seriously. Sweet mechanics.

  • Sergio

    I’m pretty sure Fuzz should become a permanent TIGS editor/poster.

  • Anthony Flack

    Glad to see the tiresome sanctimonious comments seem to be in the minority with this one.