Dys4ia

By: Paul Eres

On: March 10th, 2012

Dys4ia is a new game by Anna Anthropy / Auntie Pixelante, developer of REDDER, Mighty Jill Off, Calamity Annie, When Pigs Fly, and other games, and who is also just about to release a book on independent game development, Rise of the Videogame Zinesters. Dys4ia is an autobiographical game about transgenderism and hormone therapy. The music is by Liz Ryerson. From Anna’s blog:

“dys4ia is the story of the last six months of my life: when i made the decision to start hormone replacement therapy and began taking estrogen. i wanted to catalog all the frustrations of the experience and maybe create an “it gets better” for other trans women. when i started working on the game, though, i didn’t know whether it did get better. i was in the middle of the shit detailed in level 3 of the game, and at the time i had no idea what the ending would be; it was hard to envision a happy ending.”

My friend Jeanne Thornton, who wrote or co-wrote some of my games (namely Immortal Defense and Saturated Dreamers), and who is the editor of Anna’s Rise of the Videogame Zinesters, requested I try out the game and review it. I was going to do that anyway, as I had heard of it a day earlier from Madamluna‘s Twitter, but probably not as soon as I would have otherwise; Jeanne said that the game would save the world and was important. But I was thinking something a lot of you are probably thinking—and I thought this even before I played the game (but generally knew what it was about)—do you um even know what you are asking? That I subject *this game* to frontpage TIGSource comments?

Anyway, the game is pretty good, as autobiographical art games go (e.g. if you’re expecting zero interactivity or walls of text you won’t find that). There’s a variety of short mini-games in quick succession, a bit like WarioWare. Each of the little games is well done, easy to understand, and a creative use of combining the topic and videogames, I enjoyed playing it just to see all the different ones. If you’re a game dev who wants to see art games done right, where the mechanics actually tie in to the theme, this is a great example. I enjoyed it more, qua game, than the similarly autobiographical game Keys of a Gamespace by Sébastien Genvo (forum discussion here), which dealt with pedophilia, but that’s just because that one was in the form of a slow-paced adventure game made in AGS rather than a fast-paced collection of mini-games made in Flash; as far as the autobiographical content goes, I felt both were similarly expressive and interesting. Another similarly autobiographical game is Aether by Edmund McMillen and Tyler Glaiel, which dealt with the loneliness of a child.

So yeah, I considered not writing about this game, because of the comments it’s sure to get here, because it’s one of those indie games that doesn’t actually need TIGSource to bring attention to it anyway (it was frontpaged on Newsgrounds and has had 17,000+ plays in one day), and because I basically don’t know anything about transgenderism (and that is in spite of having had five different transgendered friends over my lifetime, one of which was the first game programmer I ever met, who my parents knew before I was born). But then I read through the Newsground comments about the game and thought both “well the comments can’t be worse than some of these” but also “at least some people like it.” And one of the things I do know is that one should if something has both good and bad results, or is both liked and hated, it’s the good results, or the people who like it, that matter.

Posted in Games and Art?, Linux, Macintosh, Unique / Bizarre, Windows | Tags: dessgeega

http://about.me/ortoslon ortoslon

reading guide: skip the 2nd and the 4th paragraph
Anonymous

hahaha, i guess my article itself was a little too “autobiographical”?
http://about.me/ortoslon ortoslon

make a game about anticipating trolls, then we’ll talk
Anonymous

that game already exists: dungeon crawl stone soup
Somebody

I almost considered not writing about it. But then I accidentally too much article.
Anonymous

woe to a generation who sees 4 paragraphs as too much to read
dE

Seriously, was all that “frontpage commenter” hate really necessary? All you did was piss in the wind with those two paragraphs and drag the art-game into it.
In all honesty though, Tigsource should get rid of the comment function altogether and point to the forums instead. Why? Because no matter what people write here, it will be automatically labelled as “frontpage comment”.
dE

Seriously, was all that “frontpage commenter” hate really necessary? All you did was piss in the wind with those two paragraphs and drag the art-game into it.
In all honesty though, Tigsource should get rid of the comment function altogether and point to the forums instead. Why? Because no matter what people write here, it will be automatically labelled as “frontpage comment”.
http://twitter.com/AutumnSolace Solace

Even after reading all I really gathered was ‘Newgrounds frontpaged game’ ‘About transgenderism’ ‘uncertainty about putting it here’

I still have no idea what the game is about.
Anonymous

oh, i don’t hate frontpage comments at all, i find them entertaining. it was a joke for added entertainment value. so no, it wasn’t necessary any more than any joke in any article is necessary
Anonymous

part of that is intentional. i didn’t want to spoil it because it takes only a few minutes to play anyway. i could have gone into each individual game, but that would be a spoiler. e.g. there’s a part where you play “breakout” in analogy to “breaking through walls”, and there’s a part where you shave which plays a little like pac man without ghosts

so basically i was talking around the game rather than about the game to avoid the issue of spoiling it, because i wanted people to play it without too many expectancies. auntiepixelante didn’t write much about the game when she posted it in her blog, either
Toom

*WarioWare
Anonymous

thanks, will edit it
Bergam

woe to the author who writes three fourths of a review solely about himself
Anonymous

oh, if i were writing it about myself i could have included so much more! -that’s not a bad idea, though, i should try a tim rogers style article on tigsource one day
dE

You’re in a really odd mood today.
Josef

Dear RinkuHero,

I thought it was a nice game, pretty personal (which is not always a bad thing) but I always find short games like these interesting. It’s almost more interactive fiction than a game, although the boundaries between the two are pretty blurred as it is.

And I do have to say young man, I was impressed when I read your paragraphs! It made me hope that you would consider adding capitals to your comments. But alas, as I clicked “read more” I could not conceal my disappointment.
But I’m sure you will change your mind soon and that delicious shift key will be too tempting for you to resist.

Speaking of autobiographical games, perhaps you should make a game about deciding to write only in lowercase?

Best regards,

Josef

XXXXXX (Yes, precisely)
Anonymous

hahaha, i didn’t know you know me well enough to know my regular mood(s)
Anonymous

hmm, not sure about that young man part, i’m one of the oldest indie devs (although jeff minter and chris crawford are older)
DEnamed

Don’t know your real-life moods but since this is the internet, I’ll go by those moods instead. Generally: Helpful, friendly, occasionally controversial.
Today: Smug. Holier than thou.
（ ՞ਊ ՞）

Brevity is the soul of wit.
Anonymous

hmm, i don’t really think of those as “moods” exactly, more like personality traits, but it’s interesting to see how differently different people see me

i’m still not quite sure where you got the smug / holier than though part from tho, unless you mean the joke about frontpage comments? it’s sort of a long-running joke about how bad they are, i don’t actually feel superior to the people commenting (especially since i’m often commenting as well and would include myself in with the rest of the frontpage comments). but yes, i don’t treat the comments seriously, and do find them entertaining. for instance i once spent an hour reading through the comments to that visual novel about handicapped relationships just for entertainment value. i find the comments actually more interesting than the articles themselves (no offense to derek and the other editors), and a big part of the reason i read the frontpage
Jeff Kirchoff

Geez dude, give your readership a little bit of credit.
Anonymous

i think i lost that while reading the 191 comments to katawa shoujo, or more recently the comments to the igf announcements article. also as mentioned in a comment above it was a joke; i wanted to write about something besides the game so as to avoid spoilers, and that was one of the things i used
Josef

Oh my! It appears I have made a frightful mistake. I did not realise you were in actuality less youthful than I implied you were. The rounded, virile letters of your full lowercase gave me a false impression of wide-eyed youthfulness and the naive energy of the next generation. It seems I made a dire and avoidable mistake.

I have embarrassed myself in the public arena. Oh what a bumbling fool I must look to the spectators and commenters! They are likely snickering and ruthlessly mocking me (And quite rightly!) even as I type these words.
As I have disgraced myself to this degree, I will not make an appearence in these comment sections again. A self-imposed exile of sorts brought upon by my own public shaming.

I might however, strive to watch you sleep and glue my collection of shift keys to your face in order to fill the empty void that will be left over.

Once again I apologise for my blunder and sincerely hope you have not suffered any embarassment or mental issues as a result. I hope this does not get in the way of your capitalisation progress.
Farewell,

Josef.
Guest

”That game already exists. It is Dungeon Crawl Stone Soup.”
Anonymous

you should apply to be a tigsource editor with that type of writing style (haha)
DEnamed

I don’t think the joke worked that well and seems to be exactly the reason it came across as smug to me.
To me it read something like this: “In essence, you’re all retarded and I really don’t know why I bother, gosh look at how silly and useless you all are. But a friend asked me to so I’m gonna post it, so you frontpage idiots can screw up like always”.

You didn’t mean that, as you said it was meant as a joke. And I apologize that I didn’t get the joke, despite being around long enoug to have experienced the legendary art-debates of yonder first hand (oh the joy).

The point of my criticism in different words:
Thanks for the post. The frontpage getting news is a great thing and I only wish to encourage you for more. I also just wish your next posts could skip on attacking your readers. Even if it was meant as a joke, there’s a fair chance people won’t take it as one.

And if that doesn’t make sense its fine, my words rarely do. :P
Anonymous

yes, i can see what you mean, but as a side note i don’t think the prediction was inaccurate — the comments to this entry so far have not talked about the game at all, giving the impression that nobody played it and people are more interested in drama (of course this could have been a self-fulfilling prophesy but it’s a common result even without prophesy. for instance, edmund was in the hospital once and there was a post here asking for well-wishes and/or donations, and it turned into a bunch of trolling where people were saying that they wish he would die, etc.)

also i didn’t mean to make fun of the *readers*, but rather the *commenters* — the two are distinct in that the vast majority of people who read the articles here don’t comment. often i try to write for that “silent majority” because catering to the vocal minority isn’t a great thing, either in game journalism or game development. comments tend to have a negative selectivity bias because those satisfied with a game or article don’t have as much motivation to write about it than those dissatisfied with it
Anonymous

also regarding closing comments and just using the forum for comments, i don’t like that idea since i think some people are more truthful when anonymous, but i like the idea of doing both — e.g. having a “comment” thread in the forum about a frontpage article. for instance, there’s no dys4ia thread in the forum right now, so it might work to start one and link to it in the article too
http://about.me/ortoslon ortoslon

“distinct” implies that the vast majority of people who comment don’t read
Anonymous

true — perhaps i should have said “do not have complete overlap”
Align_right

Heeelp! I don’t like tight spaces
Bergam

can’t.. breathe…
http://twitter.com/ellaguro Liz Ryerson

thanks for the mention, Paul! glad to see people are enjoying this game :)

btw I’ve uploaded the soundtrack here, for anyone who wants to hear it:

http://ellaguro.bandcamp.com/
DEnamed

You know, a mirror thread to each comment thread might be a good idea.

I like good discussions but its sad no one takes comments serious enough for one :p
ASmith

It doesnt sound like you’ve ever read any of the front page comments
Snow

Good point, but then there should at least be some moderation to clean up the troll comments.
Anonymous

yeah, but i can’t seem to moderate them (i’ve tried but it seems only derek has that power, or else the disqus plugin in wordpress is broken)
Lilo

Interesting, like most Auntie games, sort of fun for a while. I had no idea he was a guy; I just always sort of figured it was a lesbian who needed to have every game as full of personal agenda as a South Park episode.

Knowing it’s a dude definitely helps to put things in perspective.

Anyway, thanks for the article.
Anonymous

finally a comment from someone who played the game :)
Lilo

No, that Josef guy did, too.
Anonymous

ah, thanks, forgot about that — i should have said the first comment that was mostly about the game (since his comment had a few lines about the game and then went on for about 3x as long about how i don’t use capitals)
Lilo

Right on. Yeah, this game was just sort of a game, I guess. More of a story of how he’s mad that people don’t call him ‘maam’, which is honestly a little selfish. Obviously it’s all very important to him, though, so I guess I understand.

I feel like he has potential to make good games, and some of them are even sort of fun (The old western one, the jumping one that was over-filled with stupid S&M references), but again, always overfull of autobiographical gunk and agendas.

There are easier ways to get affirmation, but to each his own, I guess.
Anonymous

have you tried REDDER? i don’t think there was much agenda there

but i think it has to do with the idea of how auntiepixelante sees games: as things everyone should make and use to express themselves (a bit like how most people see poetry). so the games are at least consistent with that belief system
Pat Ashe

I just want to point out that you should call Anna ‘she’ when you are writing about her as she identifies as woman and it is quite offensive to call her a he.

I understand what you are saying about her games being highly autobiographical but for me that’s what make them unique and interesting. I think more games should be made that deal with actual events and stories about tiny things.
Lilo

I identify myself as the King of England, so please address me as “Your Highness”, thanks.
Mitch Weaver

But you weren’t born as a king. Too bad. OHHHHHH, right. Gotcha.
http://twitter.com/phubans Paul Hubans

I played through this last night. I get that there’s a message to be understood here, however, I’m not exactly sure why this was posted to the front page; was it meant to incite a discussion because of its “controversial” subject matter? It would seem that you anticipated such a response in your original review, at least.

I’m more concerned with how this is a game worthy of the front page, or even how this is considered a game at all. Now, I’ve played other games by Anna Anthropy, and I definitely got that they were games. With this one? Not so much. This felt more like a narrative video with very minimal interaction; it could have told the same exact story just as effectively without needing any input whatsoever.

The definition of games is pretty loose these days, but I define a game as an interactive piece of media that has goals (which this had, albeit very stripped down), obstacles that must be avoided, destroyed, or solved that prevent you from reaching those goals (which this didn’t really have), and rewards for reaching these goals; points, the next level, treasure, a new item, etc. In the case of this game, there is almost no challenge or reward system in place.

Games that sacrifice the conventions of tradition at least have an interesting audio/visual experience in store, but with this game I found the graphics to be base, sloppy, and jarring. in fact, my first reaction to the image posted here was “WTF?” and then “Oh…” after I realized that the point of this interactive media (I’m not calling this a game) isn’t to allure, but to provoke or express understanding. I just wish Anna would have put more emphasis on making this a fun game that told her story, instead of a story that sloppily masquerades as a game.
http://alllen.tumblr.com/ allen

NO
Anonymous

do you also similarly feel that warioware was not a game? since it’s very similar to that game in gameplay
Bergam

You are the most pathetic, least self-aware person on the internet Phubans. Congratulations?
http://about.me/ortoslon ortoslon

“is this thing that i’ve just played a game?” —nerds
http://twitter.com/phubans Paul Hubans

And who are you?
http://twitter.com/phubans Paul Hubans

In those microgames, aren’t you at least timed? Then, the time counts as an obstacle. Still, I’ve never played one and I don’t really think I’d spend my time or money on it… Though it’s funny my comment inspired such butthurt from people like Bergam, who know nothing about me, or apparently, game design.
Anonymous

you’re timed in this game too i believe; if you don’t pass a mini-game in a specific amount of time it takes you to the next one, at least with some of them
phlegmdog_millionaire

how is he not self-aware for having an opinion on something? huh?
Bergam

Hi Phubans
Bergam

It’s me, son.
Youbans

Keep thumbs-upping yourself you sad, ban-dodging,
moronic, self-important man child!
Max Strater

Thanks a lot for posting this, I love seeing a game that takes on transgender topics. I loved how personal the game was. It
Anonymous

glad at least someone liked it :)
Anonymous

It’s a small game, and you shouldn’t ask too much of it.
Writers make novels, short stories, poetry, and so on; so why shouldn’t Anna Anthropy make both relatively ambitious and relatively mainstream games like Mighty Jill Off and more artsy short ones like this one? Some people don’t seem able to judge completely different works with appropriate different criteria.
Rob

Shut the fuck up you puritanical piece of shit.
GGringo

haha this game is hilarious! it’s about trannies!
Lilo

hahahaha
Guest

I was quite captivated by the presentation and the minigames (I really like the shaving one!) but when I reached the point where the author was saying they wanted to go to clinics where they don’t perform psychological evaluations and then proceeded to order drugs online… I really couldn’t enjoy it at all any more. I get kind of worried when the message seems to be “I want to be free to take drugs without medical control”.
While I can very much sympathise with not feeling alright with one’s body – even if I have a completely different experience, of a woman who is “just” fairly self conscious about her body – and with the awkwardness she describes when her own self image is essentially clashing with other people’s perception of her (the scenes where they call her “sir”) I really can’t sympathise with what I always perceived as a peculiarity of Americans in particular to have such a casual attitude towards medicines. I could be wrong, or particularly influenced by the media and the people I met, but this seems to be a bit of a constant thing from my admittedly limited experience.
News

Lady Godiva’s Operation
Guest

I can tell you from experience that transgender people experience much more difficulty getting medical treatment than people with any other problems. Doctors who force you to jump through ridiculous hoops in order to receive treatment are called “gatekeepers”. They make it as difficult as possible to get treatment and then they wonder why the suicide rate is so high amongst transgender people.
News

EVERYONE IS PHUBANS
News

the blob approacheth
Anonymous

You gotta admit though, the Katawa Shojou debates/dick slapping was a blast to read.
Anonymous

The community surprises, not much of a shit storm brewing at all!
John Rouk

dont tell me you cut your balls off….. seriusly!
John Rouk

Seriusly now, did the author cut off his balls????
Movius

If you are unaware of the controversy regarding ‘gatekeepers’ you could get the impression that these women are just trying to get drugs without a routine medical/psychological test

However the truth is that the requirements to get HRT are counter to all medical science and would be considered highly immoral in any other circumstances. eg. Things like assuming that you need to be heterosexual to be a ‘real’ transsexual who deserves treatment.

This is just disgusting faux-moral outrage posing as caution to deny people the medical treatment they require and it would not stand in any other situation. Certainly anybody with an ethical bone in their body should oppose this pseudo-scientific bullshit.
No

I’ll stop coming to this site now. Always loved it as best source for indie games. Just too ridiculous at this point.
Merlandese

What an interesting way to tell a story. I enjoyed it.
Richiiiiie

This was terrible, offensive and certainly not a ‘game’ in any way.

I have nothing against transgenders at all but if any of the content in this piece of media is at all true, the developer has some serious issue that have NOTHING to do with his gender and more to do with his warped perception of the world. He was using female toilets even before he actively pursued a ‘transformation’, what the fuck? Where do you get off doing that? You can’t just decide you’re a female and do whatever the fuck you want. What really shits me to tears though is the bits about being referred to as ‘sir’. This just in: If you look like a man and are biologically male, people are going to refer to you with male pronouns.
Wow, what an absolute embarrassment to the transgender community.
News

bigoted intolerant transphobe
Richiiiiie

So defending the fact that A: biological women have their own bathroom for a reason, and B: 100% of people who aren’t psychic will refer to obvious males with male pronouns makes me a bigot?

Also I just came out of a 3 year relationship with a MtF. So fuck you.
Arucard

I think I understand what you mean, but I don’t believe the game (or whatever you choose to call it) was about ‘why don’t people call me ma’am’ or ‘ why can’t I use the ladies room?’ More of a personal experience of frustration and trying to deal with the same world as you are changing. I saw it as, they don’t want me in the men’s room and I’m not welcome in the ladies room. Same thing with the medicine, something about high blood pressure and risks with taking estrogen with it.

Anyway, I found it interesting and pretty funny at parts, more like hearing someone’s story than playing a game.
John Rouk

you pushed your ‘stick’ in somebodys ‘behind’??? horrible
http://twitter.com/jovianBlue ljv

He’s a guy who thinks he’s a lesbian woman.
He’s a special little snowflake, a beautiful flower
Yajin

Came on, stop fighting everyone. You are acting like a bunch of kids.
John Rouk

HELLO!!! ARE WE SUPPOSED TO SAY SOMETHING NICE TO PEOPLE WHO ADMIT THAT THEY ARE PERVERTS?
Vegeta.

Thanks, doc.
Nobody

How come it’s perfectly okay for someone born biologically male to want to grow boobs and cut off their junk and call themselves female yet I can’t find a single doctor who is willing to give me prosthetic arms in exchange for my working one? I’ve seen the advances in prosthetic limbs over the years and they are more than sufficient now to replace organic limbs. I never chose to be born human. I want to be my true self.
Nobody

*ones
Anonymous

You’re confusing sex and gender, dude. Pronouns refer to the latter.
Bakariboss

This shit is weird 0____o
1numberonedukeofnewyork

Being “offended” is too often used a “Get out of Jail Free – Card”. Language is used for communication. If for a given individual, being born with a penis categorizes one as male, your particular proclivities have no bearing on the information that they feel is relevant and wish communicate.

Your self-identification is not somehow more important than someone else’s categorization. We’ll even forgive that biologically there is zero support for your assertion.
Felipse

What, we’re not allowed to start calling names the moment someone disagrees with us anymore? Don’t think, just agree, otherwise you’re an asshole!
Fed

Because you haven’t whined loud enough.
Jk4736

No offense, Paul. But your definition (or rather trying to enforce it) is what holds back the medium and makes most games into worthless junk.
Jk4736

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_integrity_identity_disorder
http://www.facebook.com/sargeantibbsandthebedbugs Ben Tibbetts

I loved this game. It was an emotional experience and I thought it was brave of Tom to feature this on the Newgrounds front page knowing some of the potential reactions. How sad, that transgenderism should be a controversial topic.
Gelkitten

Retarded, shitty game. Reminds me of why I hate 95% of indie games.
Pinstripe Hourglass

Why do you want to deny them their identity, though?