Sexy Hiking

By: Derek Yu

On: August 13th, 2007

I predict that Sexy Hiking will be (is) a polarizing game. I think it’s going to break down like this: 90% of the people who play the game are going to be horrified by the shit graphics and profane difficulty, and dismiss it as having no redeeming value. 9% are going to get somewhere in the game and appreciate the unique game mechanics and maybe even the inherent humor in it. The last 1% will probably praise the game as pretentious abstract art, calling it the “canonical masterpiece of the Neo-Expressionist Game Movement” or some such nonsense.

Well, as it is with these things, I prefer to think of it as being a little bit of everything. The game definitely has terrible graphics, and when you open the title screen, you’ll think it’s a joke (X-Files theme song in midi format?). And it is extremely difficult… getting past the first obstacle in the game is like playing that board game “Operation” with a pair of pliers. But maybe that’s what makes this game so engaging… the fact that every new area seems totally impossible at first, and there is NOTHING THERE TO HELP YOU SAVE YOUR OWN GRIT. Making ground in this game is grueling, and the satisfaction is paired with equal amounts of frustration.

It’s actually kind of refreshing to see, in this day and age where every game has to hold your hand and breastfeed you until you’re three-fourths of the way through the game.

Under Ground the Bowling

By: Derek Yu

On: August 3rd, 2007

Tim found this little gem. It’s an entry for the 3Punge (Three Minute Game Contest), where, I assume you create a game that lasts for three minutes. What caught my attention were the graphics, which frightened the hell out of me. I like that.

Under Ground the Bowling (direct link) is a bowling game where the bowling balls are people and the pins are other people waiting for the bus (who all kind of look like James Brown). It’s really pretty hilarious and has very little to do with bowling other than the score keeping. I love the main character and how crazy he looks, especially after you get a strike.

This is not a well-made game, but it is a bizarre game! Use the arrow keys to move and “z” to slap. A couple dialog boxes will pop up when you start the game. I don’t know what the first one is, but the second one asks you if you want to play fullscreen or not. Be ready to turn down your sound if you’re not into hearing men grunting over and over again at a rapid rate.

Rose and Camellia: English Edition

By: Derek Yu

On: July 28th, 2007

The elegant art of feminine combat… now in English.

(Source: Indygamer)

Sharks Eat Your Spam!

By: Derek Yu

On: July 19th, 2007

I’ll be out of town for a couple of days, but before I go, I leave you with this awesome trailer for 3D Mailbox (aka Game of the Year). The only e-mail client that features shirtless fat guys with tats. Thanks for the heads-up, fartron (aka Freddie Mercury)!

By the way, if any of you other editors have some posts you’ve been wanting to throw up here, now would be a great time!

Rose and Camellia

By: Derek Yu

On: July 17th, 2007

What can I say about Rose and Camellia other than that it’s a girl-slapping game from the creators of La Mulana!

I love how insanely creepy and awesome your opponents get as you get further. The general theme / atmosphere of this one is spot on.

Where’s an Egg?

By: Derek Yu

On: July 17th, 2007

Where’s an Egg? is one of those silly little Videlectrix games. That is to say, it’s made by the Homestar Runner guys. You may want to play the game cold, as I think part of the fun comes from having no idea what’s going on.

Otherwise, check the extended for a breakdown of what you’re supposed to be doing.

Spake ssfsx17 from the forums:

Aggressive Sokoban

By: Derek Yu

On: July 13th, 2007

Aggressive Sokoban (direct download) takes Sokoban and puts it on its side, turning the slow-paced original game into a manic platformer where deft maneuvering and precision box throwing is the key. The player is presented with 14 rooms split into two worlds (6 in easy, 8 in hard) and the is charged with completing them as quickly as possible. A special mode lets you try out each level before you attempt a time attack on an entire world.

It’s incredibly fun and the cute graphics and music tie the entire package together! Go for the “A” ranking!

(Source: dessgeega)

Typogun

By: Derek Yu

On: July 9th, 2007

Wourme pointed out that QWERTY Warriors 2 looks a lot like Typogun, a “typing defense” game by the creator of The Jeluvian Project. And you know what, it really does!

I like Typogun more. Having to hit enter at the end of your word feels better to me, like I’m punching the trigger after loading a big round of buckshot into my cannon. And I enjoy seeing the definitions on the screen, as well. The wordlists are quite small, unfortunately. You can add your own words to the list, but it would have been nice to have a dictionary full of words to begin with. Also, I think “fortuitous” is spelled wrong.

Having played both games, I’m left kind of wishing for a new typing game that’s got everything these two have and then some. Because even after playing these games and putting up a bunch of posts I still have a hankering for some hot, sweaty, typing action! I’m a beast!

Death Worm

By: Derek Yu

On: June 27th, 2007

Sandworms are awesome. These mythological beasts titillate the imagination. The idea of monsters living under our feet simultaneously scares us and seduces us.

Tremors. Dune. Beetlejuice. The Mongolian Death Worm. These are the stuff of NIGHTMARES.

But did you ever stop to think that, you know, they’re just animals trying to survive, just like us? Did you ever try to step in their shoes (sock?) for a moment?

Well, now you can! Death Worm lets you play as a giant sandworm, and it’s a hoot. The feeling of playing as one of these monstrous entities is artfully captured, and exceedingly fun. There’s nothing like hiding in the sand below the unsuspecting surface-dwellers, only to pop out for a frightening kill before diving back in. And the music (lifted from Streets of Rage) somehow fits perfectly with all the weirdness going on.

The surprising thing is how challenging the game is and how much timing and strategy is involved in staying alive as the waves upon waves of angry humans come hunting for you. Par excellence!

Tarenagasi

By: Derek Yu

On: June 21st, 2007

Still playing through all of Ikiki’s games! This one’s number five for me, and boy, it’s a doozy. I was attracted to it by the small thumbnail on the games page – it looked like a fun game in a cave. You know, maybe something like Spelunker?

Little did I know they were caves of smelly SHIT.

Tarenagasi, which I think translates to “Poo Cannon” in Japanese, has you flinging excrement all over the walls of what appears to be Mario’s house, covering his lovely entrance room with your gut garbage, which is fired in prodigious amounts via a large cannon attached to your bum. That’s basically the entire game.

Is it some kind of commentary on how the commercial games industry craps out sequel after sequel? Who knows. But it’s funny as hell!

Use ESDF to move and Space to jump, while aiming and firing using the mouse. Left-click will shoot a load out of your cannon. Right-click will make your player, er, fill the cannon back up. The three modes you can choose from on the title screen only change the time limit. Mode three is the unlimited time mode, which let me create this masterpiece right here.

3.5 smelly Ikikis out of 5!